More Susan Lucci News!!

When we last left off of the saga of All My Cancellations (I don't know who coined this but I love it!), we exposed how ABC Daytime and the evil Brian Frons had thrown their former #1 star, the beloved Susan Lucci under the bus. Now though it is happier news that I bring to you. Susan did an interview with NPR and revealed that she is still negotiating with Prospect Park!!! "My heart is certainly there with Agnes Nixon, with All My Children, with Erica Kane, with our incredibly passionate viewership, our fans," Then she dazzles us with the best news ever "And we are trying, as we speak, to work that out. We are waiting on a response at the moment." Meaning that the talks as we all have predicted are on going!!! PHEW!!!

Happy Endings Scoop: Max And Penny!!

Happy Endings is one of my favorite shows, thats no secret right? I also have a big old crush on Adam Pally who plays straight acting gay dude Max, and Casey Wilson is our generations go to comedienne. So when I read these scoops on TV Line, I got all excited and knew that I had to share them with you guys!!


Max: My favorite character is going to be changing a bit this year, as he starts looking for work. Adam relays what goes down  “Max is sick and tired of being told that he’s a bum and that he has no money,So he goes to any length he can to make sure that he’s a contributing member of the group, financially.” But Adam won't reveal what exactly Max will be doing just hinting “He’ll do anything and everything for a dollar,” Hmm I have an idea. Wait bad thoughts Royal, not here. And speaking of Max's love life, he won't be settling down anytime soon “If there’s a penis around, Max will be in it,” Terrific, now to secure my guest star role on H.E.


Penny: Whats better than one Hartz on the show? 2 Hartz, especially when the second one is Pennys mom and played by the ever talented Karen Walker Megan Mullally. Casey agrees and shares her excitement about working with the icon  “It was out of this world. It was sick.” Pennys mom is an "eternal optimist" who lied to her daughter about food stamps, calling them "British Money" but the best part, they were part of a mother/daughter group called Two Hartz Beat As One, and under that comes the best news ever!!! “We did a big song-and-dance number, It was literally the highlight of my short career.” Ah-mah-zing!!!! 

Picture Of The Day: Ashton Kutcher With Alleged Mistress

Image via Pacific Coast News

Kelly Clarkson Is Not A Lesbian

Part of being a celebrity in todays culture is the gay rumors. If you takes your chances in Hollywood and come out a winner, you have to expect them. When they come and if your straight take a lesson from the always classy Kelly Clarkson who has refuted the "Lesbian rumors" more than once, and yet each time stays true to herself and classy at the same time. "I just think it is very ignorant to assume that you know everything about someone … People keep saying that I'm gay and … yeah, I'm not." Kelly goes on to say that while she's never kissed another girl, she almost wishes she did dig the chicks "I'm pretty sure I've never made out with girl. Sometimes, I wish I were because at this point, I would probably get hit on by a lot of girls!" She also theorizes about why she can't get a boyfriend "It's just not helping me because I am straight. No boy wants to hit on my because I make mean songs about them and they think I'm gay." girl don't worry about it, the right dude will come along for you!!!

Breaking: James Is Leaving DAYS

James Scott will not be long for Salem according to Soap Opera Digest. James has been with Days Of Our Lives since 2006, the same year he left All My Children. According to the report the show and the actor were unable to come to terms for a new contract. As a new Days fan I don't understand the importance of EJ but I'm sure someone will enlighten me!! And in the meantime maybe James will join Prospect Parks AMC!!

Blind: The Director, His Wife And Divorce

CDAN

Apparently the Director’s Wife is separated and in the process of getting a divorce. It started months ago when her husband was dropped from a couple of projects. He directed a hit movie and now has nothing lined up and nothing down the pipeline. It might even have something to do with what he had his wife do to secure him that directing job. Meanwhile our actress has been taking “meetings” in NY and has a couple lined up in L.A.

Last week our actress had a major meltdown during a sitdown for a monthly magazine that your parents probably read but you have never opened yourself because she was prodded about “internet rumors.” Those rumors included why she had to go to a network and discuss her involvement there with a former President of the network.

Once those questions were asked, our actress and her publicist went ballistic and another interviewer was brought in to finish the interview. Despite our actress and the Director showing up at an event together, our actress had confided to a makeup artist at the magazine interview that she was not sure if her husband would be there or not.

Out in Los Angeles during Emmy week, our actress did not wear her wedding ring and told this B- list actress/Emmy nominee/one of my favorite people who is finally getting the love she deserves on a hit network show that she’s about to be back on the market. At a party during that week, our actress was the focus of attention from a long line of guys who wanted to meet her. I bet that is not all they wanted.

The Director has moved out and has another apartment close to the one he shared with our actress.

Most Popular And My Guess: Gretchen Mol

Blind: Wants To Catch A Big One

CDAN

This foreign born actress/model who always seems to stay in the spotlight without actually doing much other than occasionally dating a celebrity spends most of her time now hustling rich guys to take her out. She is hoping to land a big fish, but most get tired of her after a few days because of the financial demands she puts on them right from the beginning. Definitely going to be revealed.


Most Popular Guess: Sophie Monk


My Guess: Pamela Anderson

Blind: Director Gets PLenty Of A

CDAN

This award winning director who specializes in social documentaries that create a whole lot of buzz was asked recently if he would ever do any mainstream movie directing and he said, “Why should I? I make a great living and I get plenty of a* already.”


Most Popular Guess: Michael Moore 


My GUess: Morgan Spurlock

Blind: Cheating Spouse May Cost Host Job

CDAN

This A+ talk show host depends on family values to stay popular and relevant. So, what happens when the celebrity spouse cheats all the time and the host knows it. They can’t split up because the fan base would leave in droves, especially if they found out that the talk show host is the polar opposite to the nice person they play on television.


Most Popular and MY Guess: Elizabeth Hasselback 


Other Popular Gueseds: Dr. Phil, and Kelly Ripa

Blind: Mean Scheme To Make Money

Blind Gossip

 This very successful television host has a boyfriend. Before the host became very successful, they were both just getting by financially, and decided to give themselves a hand up by engaging in some shady dealings a few years back. The host orchestrated a scheme where the boyfriend would befriend and hopefully “marry” an aging female star. Both of the men are charming and quite manipulative, so it isn’t surprising that they managed to find an appropriate target and zeroed in on her. Sure enough, when she passed away, she left most of her estate to her gay husband. The money provided financial security to the host and the boyfriend, and they are still a couple to this day.


NO real guesses, just thought this was interesting and wanted to share. Also wanted a reminder so I can use this as a future story I want to do

Blind: Flirts When Drunk

CDAN

This former tweener and now a married adult with child/ren is hardly what you would call the stay at home mom type or anything. She used to be an A list television actress and now stays in that B- range. Never a movie actress, always television. She has been in here before for some things, but at this point she is getting a little too old to be out every night getting hammered onfree booze from parties and hitting on any guy she sees. Oh, she only hits on the guys when she is dr*nk, but the problem is she is almost always dr*nk.


Most Popular Guess: Melissa Joan Hart


My Guess: Jennie Garth

Picture Of The Day: Sexy Zac Skate Boarding

Leisha Hailey Kicked Off Flight

In a story that seems like it belongs on the defunct Lword or Queer As Folk, star of the former Leisha Hailey says that she was kicked off of a flight for kissing her girlfriend. The star tweeted on Monday "I have been discriminated against, Since when is showing affection to someone you love illegal?" A stewardess escorted the couple off the flight after a kiss, and Leisha is hopping mad. Frankly so am I, Southwest Airline should be ashamed of themselves for allowing the hatred of gay people on their flights, would a straight couple be thrown off the flight if I complained about watching them kiss? Leisha continued her rant via twitter  "Hate is not a family value. I will never fly this airline," Southwest issued a statement hat offered to work with Leisha but leaving the blame solely on the actress "Initial reports indicate that we received several passenger complaints characterizing the behavior as excessive. Our crew, responsible for the comfort of all Customers on board, approached the passengers based solely on behavior and not gender, We regret any circumstance where a passenger does not have a positive experience on Southwest and we are ready to work directly with the passengers involved to offer our heartfelt apologies for falling short of their expectation," I deeply regret that they let the homophobia of a few ruin the airline and their reputation. 

Is Chuck Writing A Tell All Book?

When the star of your hit sitcom goes crazy and the two of you butt heads more than frat boys drink beer, of course its time to part ways. Of course in the case of Chuck Lorre, Charlie Sheen and Two and A Half Men this has all been very publicly. So it is quite astounding that Chuckn used his Vanity Card during the second part of Mens season premiere to relay that he may be writing a tell all book “Sometime last year I realized I had become the unwilling contestant in a reality show. I didn’t understand the rules, wasn’t sure if there even were any, and pretty much hated every second of it. For many months I kept hoping and praying that it would end. But it did not. Somewhere along the way, something inside me died. Anyway, now, suddenly, I’m being told that the reality show’s been cancelled. Apparently, it was just one of those things that somehow got out of control. Sorry. Whoops. Live and learn. Moving on. Game over. And that’s fine. I am so good with that. Yes, please, let’s all move on. There’s just one problem. That thing inside me that died? It walks at night. It’s angry. It’s hungry. And worst of all… it’s writing a tell-all book.” I'm not sure what else went on behind the scenes between Charlie and Chuck but it must be good...

AMC/OLTLs New Home Has A Name!!

As my mourning period continues, it is with great gladness that I tell you guys that Prospect Park has given a name to the online network that will house All My Children (sob) and One Life To Live and the launch date. The site and network will be called The Online Network (TOLN for short) , and will launch in January 2012!!! Heres part of a press release from Prospect Park “We are creating TOLN to conveniently deliver fans of quality television long-form programming anytime and anywhere,” and the release continues “With broadband availability in 70% of US households and the proliferation of internet enabled televisions, DVRs and wireless devices, ultimately we believe that online distribution provides the best platform to access 30 and 60 minute entertainment content. The viewer response to the shows we have licensed has been tremendous, and we have much more in development to appeal to a broad audience base.” The even better news is that the concerns the new network would charge a subscribers fee have been allayed, it is expected that TOLN will be ad supported (much like GG) 

Picture Of The Day: Chord Is Quite The Glee-ful VMAN

Mr Know It All Video

It's easy to forget that Adele was not always the break up queen. At one point in the not so distant past, the crown belonged to Kelly Clarkson and in Mr. Know It All she is attempting to reclaim her title!! For me, there is no one vocally better than Kelly, I love her and adore her and thus I love the song. The video is very bare bones but she leaves nothing off limits, especially the songs that were leaked of hers. Take a few minutes out of your busy schedule and listen to the song, watch the video and get totally lost in this amazing world.

Does This Prove My Theory?

A while back I shared with you all my theory that Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston may have slept together. In doing so, I was called everything from a "sicko" to a "damned liberal fool, intent on destroying Sarah Palin" well I wore those phrases as badges of honor and now there may be more evidence supporting the "most disgusting, piece of crap" theory ever. According to Levi himself, he and many other believe that Sarah Palin had a "cougar crush" He told E! news  "When I was growing up, some of my friends were like [Sarah Palin's behavior towards you] seems kinda weird, They were like, 'I think she likes you.'" Hmm interesting but you know teens boys think that anyone who looks their way wants them. Levi continues to say that his ghost writers said the same thing  "[They said] to me, 'Hey! I think she had a cougar crush on you.'" Ok so now we have two sources saying the same thing, but finally Levi himself now thinks this "Looking back, and knowing what everybody's been telling me now, I'd say yeah, [she did have a cougar crush on me], [But] she never like tried to touch me or anything bad like that." So what do you think Gossipers? Has my theory been proven yet?

Spencer Can't Get A Job And Has No Money

Most of us has made epically bad decisions. We all are human right, whether it was to drive while drunk or giving your heart to the wrong person, we've all made made mistakes. However most, if not all of us did not make those decisions in front of a camera, hoping for a little of fame. Which is what Spencer Pratt did and now that he can't get a job, and has blown through all of the reality show money that he made during his tenure on The Hills. A source told Us Weekly that his agent won't take his calls,  "They just laugh at him or pick up and hang up." Hmm sorry Spencer, maybe you should start thinking about leaving Hollywood and doing what normal people do and just taking a job wherever will hire you.

Royal Rant: Finding A New Soap

Sigh. Yesterday was my first day without my beloved All My Children, which had helped me eat my lunch and take a breath everyday (I was home) at 1pm or an hour a night when I had to watch it on the DVR. As always I got my lunch prepared, and sat down in front of my TV, but instead of my beloved Pine Valley residents who have meant so much to me, I watched a show full of strangers.

Don't get me wrong, the citizens of Salem, USA and Geneoa, Wisconsin are fascinating folks but they are not the people I have enjoyed lunch or dinner with lo these many years. Watching The Young and The Restless was a tad easier because I already have crushes on Billy Miller (how yummy is he?) and Greg Rikaart (My God Man I am waiting for you) and I absolutely adore Elizabeth Hendrisckson, who is one of the most underrated actress' ever. So why wasn't I into it? Because the stories just didn't connect to me, I read the recaps and knew who was who, but I kept thinking to myself whats going with Bianca and Marissa? Where is Erica? Sigh.

I tried the rebooted Days also, but again there was no connection for me. Why do I care if the blonde chick is boffing the dude who used to be on Passions? Though Ethan EJ was adorable with the other blonde diva, Nicole. My problem with Salem is not the stories, I could actually get into them but the fact that they take themselves so seriously. I think the producers need to ask Agnes Nixon and Loraine Broderick for some help lightening up and not taking themselves so seriously ASAP .

I'm sure as time goes on the loss will lessen and I will find myself enjoying other soaps, but for now the mourning period will continue. If you see the lonely gay eating lunch staring blankly at a computer screen, just walk by and say "Hey Royal, I just seen Erica Kane kissing another man." That'll help, it'll have to.

Britney's Secret To Life

My most beloved Britney Spears gave the associated press a great quote about her career and being happy, one that I think every person should live by "I don't really have anything to prove at this point. I just do it for fun and see what happens." Exactly girl!!! You have done your thing and now you can just reap the rewards of all your hard work!! One day we will all be lucky to be in your same situation!

Will Gaga's Next CD Be Free?

If she has her way it will be. Lady Gaga's manager, Troy Carter reportedly said "What we're looking to do is not just about selling the CD or the digital file. It's how many people can we get the music to. How many people can experience it? If it was up to me, I'd give away the next album and put it on every handset that I can put it on, to get that scale." Hmm seems as if Mother Monster wants to ensure our love and loyalty, which of course she already has. The diva herself proclaimed that she is already working on the possibly free CD and putting together a tour "I'm actually already working on my next album. So I've been working on that. I've been planning the next tour, which keeps me very excited and busy because I have lots of new ideas, and I know exactly how I want it to look." Looks like Gaga and I have something in common, we are always working on one project or another. 

Matthew Morrison A Bully?

Jonah Hill is making some very serious accusations against Glee star Matthew Morrison. According to Jonah, Matthew has been bullying him and making fun of him or rather using him as the punch line in a joke. Heres what Jonah told Jimmy Fallon “This publicity woman is giving us these instructions and no one is paying attention. And Zooey (Deschanel) starts talking to me. And I’m, like, whatever I don’t want to get in trouble or anything like that. And she keeps talking to me, and the woman goes, ‘Jonah, please be quiet while I’m talking.’ This guy (Matthew Morrison) piggybacks this woman calling me out. I’ve never met this guy before in my entire life. He goes, ‘Yeah Jonah, can’t you stop talking for one second?’ And everyone laughed at me! I wasn’t even talking to anybody!" Jonah goes on to admit that because of that situation he already had ill feelings towards Matthew. "So, I’ve already got in my head that I don’t like this guy. I’m sure he’s a good human being but you don’t throw a dude under the bus that’s just sitting there being quiet… He bullied me. He’s a big timer on Fox, I’ve got stars in my eyes and he’s been to the dance before, I’m just some movie guy trying to make it in that world."  I'm sorry if someone had done that to me, the last thing I would be saying is that I'm sure he's a good human. No if I felt he was picking on me or being an ass as Jonah clearly does, I would leave it at that. Screw the Hollywood  Nice system. Anyways Jonah continues to tell another instance of Matt allegedly taunting Jonah "Cut to a couple weeks later… and I see this guy, Matthew Morrison, and he’s talking to one of the Gossip Girl guys, Chace Crawford… I go, ‘They don’t see me, I’m gonna get some scoop, I’m gonna call this dude out, I’m gonna like bust up his conversation.’ And I wander up behind these two guys and I’m eavesdropping and I can’t really hear what’s going on and then I hear, ‘Something, something, something… Jonah Hill.’ And then they both start laughing! And so I’m the punchline in this guy’s joke? He doesn’t even know I’m at this party. What is his deal?” Hmm What would Mr Schue say? 

Royal Recomends: Awaking

Has a friend ever asked you to critique something and you panicked? Did you ask yourself what if it's not good, how do I tell them? Do I tell them at all? Thats kind of what happened with me, I offered to review my dear friend Madeline Freemans book "Awaking" for her and then worried, what if I don't like it.

Of course I shouldn't have been worried. Me and Madeline go way back, we began the Creative Writing Club together in  High School and I knew she was talented. When she gets an idea in her head she fleshes it out to the point of exhaustion and she makes sure she knows her characters inside and out. back when we hung out a lot, we used to do the exercises together and when applied to our stories, well magic was usually made.

In Awaking, it seems as if Madeline is still doing those exercises because the plot is fleshed out as any book I have read recently. The story without giving it away is about a young girl who pretends to be a psychic, who is told by a mysterious stranger that she might actually be one!! From there it evolves into a fun mystery adventure, and that is where the real fun is. In some mysteries, the author may not know, until the very end who the culprit is or whose behind the organization that is tormenting their character. However it is clear that Madeline knows and she parcels out the clues one by one.

Characterization is important in any book, and again Madeline is an expert in this arena. Her Morgan Abbey is the kind of spunky heroine that Twilights Bella Swan wishes she was. Morgan feels as though her classmates look at her as a freak, partly because they do. Her "business" of being a fortune teller doesn't really help that but does set up the conflict quite nicely. While her best friend, and my personal favorite character in the book Clarissa "Ris" Perry is boy crazy and seems like she really belongs in high school. Of course Ris also reminds me vaguely of myself (I know the character isn't based on me but still) and of my baby sister.

There have been complaints that the plot moves too slowly from other reviewers. I think these people were the ones who read Twilight and thought it was good. Yes it takes a moment for the plot to get going but nowhere near as long as it does for other young adult novels, my own included.

If you would like to purchase this book and I think you should here are the links:

Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Awaking-1-Madeline-Freeman/dp/1463738919/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1313460266&sr=8-5

Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/awaking-madeline-freeman/1104759715?ean=2940013173866&itm=1&usri=madeline%2Bfreeman

GG Reviews: Goddess Of Vengeance

It's no secret to anyone who has been near me that I simply adore ms Jackie Collins, and that I have read every book she has ever published. I am such a huge fan of hers that I try to model my own writing after hers. Don't shake your heads at me and tell me I should find my own voice. I do but it never hurts to have a role model to help you along the way.

With that in mind, I should now tell you that I love Jackie's #1 heroine: Lucky Santangelo, and in Goddess Of Vengeance our girl is back and feistier than ever before. When a real estate tycoon wants to buy Lucky's pride and joy "The Keys" we see the real Lucky at work. Jackie excels at the girl power stories and showing us that woman are just as strong and devious as men, maybe more so. With Lucky, Jackie always shows her as the strong heroine in charge and never doubting herself. so it is nice to see her being conflicted over what to do with her daughter Max.

Little Maria, who changed her name to Max, Lucky's daughter and character clone. I personally love the fact that the Santangelo's will go on with Max as the likely main character in the future. Clearly Jackie has learned a lot from soaps because she has passed the torch brilliantly from mother to daughter. Max's story is about as soapy as it gets: She loses her virginity and falls in love with her moms best friends soon to be ex husband. Its not as sleazy as it sounds and you will be cheering for the couple, I know I did. I won't spoil the ending but it is perfect for hard core Jackie fans.

The character that Max hates the most, is the one I thought that would be Jackie's next heroine extraordinaire, Denver Jones. Denver actually made her debut in Poor Little Bitch Girl, but it in Goddess we really learn more about her. Denver is dating Lucky's son Bobby but she is a little put off by his lifestyle. Throughout the book, we see her waiver trying to decide if it is worth investing in this relationship with someone who is so much richer than she is. Where Max's story is soapy goodness, Denvers story is realistic and rooted very much in Denver and Bobby's characters. Never have I wanted a couple to get and stay together as I did Denver and Bobby.

Now onto my favorite character of all of Jackie's books, one Venus Maria. I adore Lucky, she is great but her best friend is exceptional. It's as if Jackie transplanted Erica Kane into her books and made her a singer/movie star. Why Jackie has never done a full book with Venus as the lead, I'll never know but I will take the diva any way I can get her. Her story in this book is all about finding herself again after being married to a much younger man, and looking to stay on top career-wise. When she treats her young lover with disregard, you don't hate her, you understand that she just doesn't want to attach herself to anyone at the moment.

Four different characters, and yet their lives are forever intertwined and the stories that are told about them are simply perfect. Jackie never hits a false note with her tales, and in Goddess Of Vengeance she once again proves why no one can master her domain.  

Picture Of The Day: Jersey Shore Leads To Death

Bundle Of Terror

"The baby was up all night again," Edgar complained. He had been doing a lot of that lately, and frankly his wife Trisha was tired of it. "Shouldn't he be sleeping through the night by now?"

"I don't know what you're complaining about, I am the one who had to get up with him," Trisha was not a happy camper. Sure Edgar had championed having a baby, but once the bundle of joy arrived, he became an even bigger pain in the ass than the child. "Plus I almost fell down the stairs because of your damn shoes!"

Edgar looked at her as if she had asked him tp become a stay at home dad. "I took my shoes off by the door, you watched me do it. Why would I put them at the top of the stairs?"

The baby once again started crying, a loud, piercing scream. "Well let me handle this," Trish sighed. Next time she had a bright idea, she would keep it to herself. No more kids, at least not with Edgar. She opened the door to the nursery and found her sweet baby boy sitting upright, screaming!! "Whats wrong baby? How can mama make it better?"

"How about getting this shitty diaper off of me bitch!!" Suddenly the diaper came undone and hurtled towards her. Stunned, she stood in the place, as the diaper folded around her face. She tried to scream but was silenced by poop smashing into her mouth. She could hear Edgar stomping up the stairs; for once she was happy to see her husband. "Welcome father, so nice to see you!" Glass shattered, when the baby let out a high pitched scream.  The shards of glass flew at both parents fast and furious. "Hasn't watching horror movies taugh the two of you anything? You never name your child Damien!"

Edgar tried dodging the flying glass, but no such luck. "Damien, what’s wrong baby boy? Do you want to come to daddy?"

"No you fool, I want daddy to die!" Damiens eyes glowed red, as his stuffed animals came to life and began the ascent towards the parents. A playskool see and say hit Edgar on his head, causing blood to spill out. "A cow goes moo really? Neanderthals! Did it ever occur to the two of you that maybe you should give your only child something intellectually stimulating? No of course it didn't."

Trish finally got the diaper off of her face, and allowed the tears to wash the poop off. "All we ever did was tried to love you, the best way we knew how!" Damien broke a rail off of his crib, and threw it at the woman who had given him life. Edgar jumped in front of his wife, letting the wood pierce his heart.

“Bad baby!” Trish was trying to collect herself, and wondering what her own mother would do in the same situation. “If you don’t start behaving I am going to have to spank you.”

Damien squealed with delight. “Oh, how ordinarily unimaginative of you, Let me guess next you will be counting to three, no wait you are a tad more lenient than that, so you’ll give me to the count of  five to stop this? Please woman no one is scared of you and your belt!” His mobile that they had purchased when Trish first found out she was pregnant, unfurled itself and lashed out, hitting her in the cheek.

Carefully she made her way to the crib and picked up her child. He may have been evil incarnate but he was still her baby. She would find a way to love him no matter what; maybe they should consider an exorcism. She would ask Edgar later, see what he thought. Damien cooed at her, eyes back to their original shade of blue. “Is that all you wanted, a little bit of attention?

She carried him over to Edgar who lay on the floor, bleeding but coherent. He smiled at his family and quipped "Can you imagine what he's going to be like when he hits the terrible twos?" Trish let out a soft laugh.

Cheap Genie

I look at the ugly bottle I just bought. Man what was I thinking? No, this was not my fault, the blame goes solely to Ryan! He’s the one who picked it up and insisted we buy it for the house. “It’ll go great with the theme!” He excitedly said. I knew in my heart that he was grasping at straws because our house does not have a theme, unless of course cheap is now considered a style of decorating.

The bottle, an ugly shade of pink was covered in dust. As I was rubbing it, the cork popped out. Wait I wondered why does this thing have a cork? Maybe it was an obscure champagne bottle or something. A cloud of blue dust filled the area around me, coughing I tried to wave the dirt away, so I could breath.

I noticed a form that looked an awful lot like a body, for a second I worried that I was being robbed but then I thought: ‘What are they going to steal from me, my TV from 1970? My computer that works once a month is I’m lucky?” No, I thought this couldn’t be a robbery attempt; the robber would be giving us stuff not taking anything away.

As the dust cleared, I noticed a man, well kind of a man. He was blue; instead of legs he had kind of a tail or something. He looked just like the Genie in Aladdin, man this was weird. I knew this wasn’t some kind of drug induced hallucination because frankly I couldn’t afford ramen noodles let alone any kind of psychedelic drugs.

“Hello,” I said tentatively. The man form just nodded his head, looking very ominous. What was going on, I had no idea. Maybe I was dead, and he was going to be my guide to heaven or something of that nature. That had to be it, yes I was dead and since Aladdin was my favorite movie as a child, the Genie was my leader to heaven.

“This is awesome!!” Ryan exclaimed. Of course he would be excited I was dead. Now he could do whatever he wanted without me chastising him or making him realize that we are adults and can’t get away with the same things we used to. “Do you see this Connor? We have our very own genie!!”

“Ryan, are you crazy? The things hasn’t spoken or made any indication that it’s a genie. He just floats there, smiling like a crazy clown.” I was exasperated at his reaction. Wasn’t he aware that I was dead and about to be taken to heaven? Away from him for all eternity, we would never see one another again. He began using sign language and miraculously the genie did it right back with him. “We get three wishes according to what he just told me.”

How clichéd is that? 3 freaking wishes, that’s all? Well I guess I was glad I hadn’t died but for once why couldn’t I get something different from what everyone else always gets in situations? “Well OK then wishes for a million dollars, actually make it $10 million that ways we won’t have to worry about money for a very long time.”

I watched as once again Ryan used his hands to talk to the mythical creature. The smile that had been on the forms face went from being frightening to down right scary. He turned a very dark shade of red as he furiously signed back to Ryan. I briefly wondered what was being said; too bad I had never taken a vested interest in learning sign language. Finally after both sets of hands were rested, I asked “Well?”

“He wants to know how we expect him to give us $10 million dollars, when we live in a beat up shack. He also wanted to know how he was supposed to give us that amount of money when there is an economic crisis going on.” Leave it to Ryan and I to find the one Genie that wouldn’t or couldn’t get past the recession. Damn, that money would have been very useful too.

“Well ask for new cars or something.” Once again they began speaking the language only they spoke with their hands. I wanted a red convertible Maserati, I could have the top down listening to my music at a very high volume. It would be perfection. Ryan seemed to be really working hard to convince him but I had a sinking feeling that wasn’t going to happen. “He said no again, didn’t he?”

“Yes.” My boyfriend shook his head sadly. “He wants to know why we have all of these selfish wishes. According to him, everyone else wishes for world peace or for love. He has never had anyone ask for such material things.”

“Why should I care about world peace, when we worry every week how we’re going to eat and pay the mortgage? Right now we need to focus on the things we need and not what everyone else needs.” Not only did we get a frugal genie but a politically correct one. I was incensed, I just wanted to make sure that we had everything we needed and this thing was judging me. 

Ryan stepped over to me, and wrapped his arms around me. I sank into his embrace and allowed the tears to flow from my eyes. He ran his hands through my hair and cooed in my ear, assuring me that everything would be alright. “Baby, we will get through this like we have gotten through everything else in our lives; Together.”

A couple days later, I went out to get the mail, as I flipped through the large stack of mail, many of the envelopes were bills. I would have to get to them later. One caught my eye; it was a check for $10 million dollars from a rich relative I had never heard of. 

The Dinner Party

Belinda surveyed the table, everything looked perfect. Tonight everything would go according to plan, her husband would get what was coming to him as would the rest of the people who would soon be assembled at her table. These people claimed to care about her but they didn't, no they did not at all.
She walked into the kitchen and found the cook crying over her selection for dinner. “Cook, why are you crying? I asked you to make a simple recipe and here you are crying like a baby, do I need to find a new cook, someone who will do as I ask?”

“Madam, there is no other dinner you would like me to prepare, something more normal?” There was a desperation in his voice, that made Belinda smile, a cruel smile. Cook looked nervously at his employer, fearful of what she would do.

“Clearly you are not the man I thought you were, so there for you do not need what makes you a man,” She picked up a butchers knife, and looked into it. “One day you will thank me for this, so will that dreadful wife of yours, since clearly you do not know how to be a man.” She walked over to him and slid his pants and underwear to the ground. Then she pressed the cold, metallic blade on his male member and sliced it off. “Now we have dessert.”

After she left cook to make the meal she choose, she went to find maid. She found her in the living room dusting the furniture. “Shouldn't that have already been done? I mean you have had almost a week to clean for this dinner party!”

“Madame, dust collects every day. I thought you would want everything perfect before the guests arrive,”  Maid was terrified of her employer, there were rumors about the types of things she had done and none of them were very nice. “I just thought...”

“You just thought that you could fuck my husband and think I wouldn't find out about it right?” Belinda sneered at her. She showed Maid the knife and beckoned the other woman towards her. “Come on over here, or I promise I will make this much worse than it has to be,”Maid walked over to her, her fate already sealed. Belinda slit her throat, and laughed as the blood bubbled to the surface. She found a vase and held it under the woman's bleeding neck. “I guess this will really be a party, complete with my very special bloody Mary mix.”

She went to the kitchen and found the cook slumped over, skin as white as the tiles on the floor. She finished the dinner, as the guest started filing in. She smiled to herself when her husband came in and kissed her on the cheek “Wheres the help?”

“I decided to handle this gathering all by myself,” She kissed him on his cheek, and handed him a pitcher. “Here take the drinks out to everyone, let them know its my own special mix of Bloody Mary.” As he walked out of the kitchen she pulled the meat out of the oven. “This smells delicious,”

She carried the food out and smiled at those around her dinner table. There were her sister and brother in law, Her best friend and her husband, and her husband.  She laid the food out on all of their plates and watched as they ate the food piece by piece. Once they finished, she cleared the dishes, and brought out the dessert. Her sister finally asked “Why aren't you eating?”

“I haven't been feeling very well,” She groaned a bit, and faked a cough. “But I want you all to enjoy this banana split.”

After they had chomped down the dessert, it was conversation time. Belinda had created the rule of no talking during meal time, and that included dessert. “Bel, what was the scrumptious meat? It was so good, I need to tell my cook to start making it for me.”  everyone agreed with her brother in law.

“It was a one of a kind meat,” She glowed and decided it was time to let everyone in in her secret. “Well the meat was Sarahs heart and liver, I loved my daughter but you all loved her more than you loved me and I could not have that. The bloody mary mix was the maids blood because husband thought it best to treat her to his dick twice a day since I became pregnant and the men will love this one. You all just ate cooks cock.” The guests looked incredulously at one another then at Belinda. Their stomachs all burbled and turned the woman looked as if they wanted to vomit. “Yes boys, you just had a penis in your mouth.”  She laughed manically, as she cleaned up the dessert plates and carried them to the kitchen.

Nothing To Fear

"Come on, you've never done it?" Andrea asked again. I never understood why people asked the same questions time and again, did they really expect the answer to change? Apparently Andrea did because she looked at me expectantly.

"You know I haven't and I don't intend to. I can live my life very happily never having to do," I was shaking, it was silly but the thought of doing something like that drove me crazy. "Having to that"

"How do you know you don't like it, if you've never tried before?" That same old argument. I heard it at least 3 or 4 times a week from my mom, my dad, it seemed as if everyone was in on this conspiracy to make me do something I clearly didn't want to.

"Give it a try, I promise nothing will happen to you." Andrea looked at me, sincerity burning in her eyes. If she wasn't my best friend, I would have been able to turn her down and walk away from this but I knew she wanted me to better myself. "Driving a car is not as bad as it sounds."

"But a car killed Greg!" Tears burned in my eyes. Greg was my big brother, who had been killed while driving home from prom. Mom and Dad didn't talk much about it, but from the things that I had heard, another driver had been drinking and didn't stop at a red light. At the same time Greg had started moving again, and the other car smashed into his. "I can't die too! My parents couldn't take it!"

"Charles, you are being ridiculous!" I knew she was mad at me, not only by the tone of her voice but because she never called me by my full first name. That was like when mom called you by all 3 names, you knew you were in trouble. "I drive everyday and nothing has happened to me, right?"

She threw down a challenge that she knew she couldn't lose. There was no way she was going to let this issue drop, like she had before. "You haven't been driving that long, you just got your license when you were 18, not 16 like Greg."

"Stop hiding behind Greg," She snapped. Any other time she would have asked if I wanted to talk about it, and when i said no the subject would be dropped. "Charles, you have to start taking care of yourself. What happens when I get married, and your parents aren't able to drive you around anymore? I am doing this for your own good."

"Fine." I was reluctant to even try this but since she was so adamant, I would try and then when I didn't like or couldn't do it, that would be the last time it was brought up. We walked to her car, and she slid her keys over the roof of the metal death trap. "Are you sure we have to do this?"

"Positive!" A smile had actually crossed her face. I slid into the drivers seat, my feet barely touched the pedals. "Your car is too big for me. I can't even touch the pedals, see!" I demonstrated to her that hardship i had come across. Surely this would get me out of having to drive.

"Adjust the seat," She sneered at me. I don't know what had gotten into her, but she was really cranky today. "You are not that dumb! Nor am I!" I adjusted the seat forward. So much for that plan, I knew better than to try anything else because she would call me out on it. Better to just get this over with, I thought. I stepped down on the long, skinny pedal and accelerated out of the driveway. I whipped the steering wheel left and the car turned. I looked over at her and wondered what she was thinking, hopefully not the silly notion of us being a couple again. "You're doing so well." That solved the puzzle.

“I'm scared.” I admitted. As we came to a stop sign, I got nervous. What if I went and someone wasn't paying attention to the stop sign and hit us? Dear God what had I allowed her to talk me into? I seen the car pull up to the stop sign, as I lifted my foot off the wide, fat pedal. This was it, this was how I died, bitter thoughts about Andrea drifted through my head. After we passed he other car, he moved forward. “He didn't hit us!”

“Of course not!” Andrea exclaimed smiling. “What happened to Greg was tragic but not usual. Make a right here, I just wanted you to try this today.” I made the way around my block and pulled back into the driveway. Exhilarated, I wondered when I would be able to try this again. “Want to have another lesson tomorrow?”

I nodded, unable to say anything. The greatest thing had just happened to me, I wasn't afraid anymore. I knew I could handle this now! There was no stopping me! Finally at 40, I was driving!

How To Save A Life

I hit the brakes on my car, praying that I didn't skid because of the ice. I took a deep breath, gulping in the oxygen and opened my door. The cold blasted me hard, as I stepped into it. I longed for the warmth of my car but I had to check on the man whose life I almost took. Damn Ryan, I blasted myself, be more considerate, you almost took a human life.

I walked over to him careful of the ice, which was hidden beneath a pile of snow. His blonde hair fell just over his ocean blue eyes. His pink lips were pursed tightly, he must have been mad. "I am so sorry. I didn't see you until it was almost too late! Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, no thanks to you," Something was off, I am pretty good at reading people and this guy was upset about something. "If you had just hit me, I could have been out of this world. I stepped in front of you hoping that I would be killed. But no you selfishly had to go and be a good person and stop your damn car."

He wanted to die? Why would someone feel that hopeless that they wouldn't want to live anymore? I have never understood that mentality. "You have everything to live for. I bet there's a nice girl waiting for you to call her, let her know that you're OK."

"Listen dude, like you, am into guys." I was shocked he knew, most people didn't or at least had the courtesy not to say anything until I did. "My mom and dad caught me fooling around with one of my teachers and kicked me out of the house. Then the man I thought loved me said I couldn't stay with him because his wife was sure to find out about us. My friends don't give a fuck about me, no one does. Now you have gone and ruined my plans to die. I was hoping to have someone else kill me so I didn't have to commit suicide but maybe that’s the only way to get the job done."

Did I try talking him out of it? Or did I leave it be? “Well sorry about that, didn’t mean to ruin your death plans. Let me just go on my merry way and let you get to, whatever it is you need to.” I walked away shaking my head. I wasn’t doing the right thing and I knew it.

Once I reached my car, I started the engine and let the warmth take over my body. Tears clung to my eyes, as I watched the young man walk away, shoulders slumped. I put my car into gear and slowly eased back onto the road, never taking my eyes off him for one second. Finally I drove past him, and into the nearest McDonalds restaurant, and I sat for a minute thinking about that to do.



**

“My name is Patrick and I am a world class fuck up. Don’t believe me? Just ask my dad, he’ll tell you what a disappointment I am, what a disappointment I have always been. When I was first born I angered them by being a boy instead of the girl they had prepared for, ever since then, nothing I have ever done is right.

Tonight though was stupid even by my standards. I had been dating Mr. Smith for about a semester and a half, and we had kept it really quiet, neither of us wanting to be in the center of a scandal. That is until I decided I needed more from him and asked him for a sexy picture. He sent one to me, and it made me really happy, both emotionally and physically.

I should have locked my door, I should have known better. My dad opened my door and looked away when he seen my pants on the floor by my bed. That would have been the end of it had I not said anything else. Then I told him I needed privacy and that angered him. He grabbed my phone and threw it back down when he seen what I had been looking at. He called me every name he could think of, and told me to get out of his house, and that he wished I had never been born. That makes two of us.

That same car that almost hit me a few minutes ago was driving up now. Maybe he wanted to fool around or something. Who knows what the man was thinking, I mean clearly he wasn’t that smart, he could have killed me and gotten away with it.”

“Hey!” He called to me. His frame was stocky but he looked like he was actually very fit, short but cute. “My name is Ryan and I want to help you.”

“I’m a lost cause! Just let me do what I need to do already!” I was on the bridge; I could feel my cheeks burning from the cold.

“If you jump, nothing will happen. It’s too cold and the water is frozen. I bought you a coffee from McDonalds, drink that and let’s talk about some other options,” I held up the cup and I had to admit it did sound good. I accepted it without thanks and took a big gulp. “Tell me what happened.”

I relayed the story to him as I just did to you. He listened sympathetically and I watched his face. He seemed to actually care about my plight. “So as you can see I am screwed up.”

“Well that’s could be the case or maybe you just need a night away. Why don’t you stay on my couch and tomorrow we can come up with a plan of action for you.”

I agreed, and from that night on, Ryan and I have been he best of friends. 

Crazy Soap Lady Talks: The Way It Is Spoilers

Gossipers,

This is Crazy Soap Lady. Shhhn Royal doesn't know that I'm doing this, boy would he be mad if he did. I mean do you know that he loves Erica Kane?? Good lord sometimes I think that boy thinks he is her. Maybe he is, that would be an awesome twist don't you think?? In any case I am not here to talk about possible transgendered people, no I am here to talk about whats going on with Kevin, Savannah and company.

so Kevin is in quite the predicament isn't he? Sleeping with a married man? That's right out of a soap, and I couldn't be happier but now theres another man in love with him!!! Delicious. Even better the triangle becomes more tangled when Kevin leaves town and one of his suitors follows him. His best friend Savannah who really bores me to tears, I don't know why she won't just come out of the closet. She would be an awesome lesbian, I told her as much. Anyways she has a secret project going on that will effect her life as well as several others coming up. This project will reveal quite a few of the towns secrets, it is so juicy I tell ya.

So like Savannah, right now Alyssa really doesn't have much of her own going on. So she's out there lying about whose sleeping with who. Well actually she's giving the lesbian Savannah much more male action than she wants. Ok truth time, I know Savannahs not a lesbian but it would totally awesome if she'd come out. anyways back to Alyssa, she plays matchmaker and makes a promise that she can not possibly keep. Of course after all this she must bond with some characters, I mean she needs someone to care about her or you guys wouldn't right? Savannahs secret project will reveal a secret to Alyssa, one that may put her over the edge.

One of the girls Alyssa's been lying to Sunny, has a big secret. Now this is a huge gigantic secret and if I told you what it was, you wouldn't believe me and I may be killed off, you know how temperamental Royal can be. Anyways Sarah continues her quest to break Sunny and Shane up, but she may not have much more work to do. One of the other residents vaguely remember her and let her know that they recognize her. What will she do? As her secret unravels, it will send Shane into someone elses arms. Speaking of Shane, his tryst with Kevin comes it light, and Sunny is not thrilled by that little revelation but will it end their relationship? When Savannah starts her little project, he will get some upsetting news, news that changes his life.

The other girl being lied to by Alyssa is Laura. Poor girl married a gay man and didn't even know it. As her mental condition continues to deteriorate she enlists the help of someone you wouldn't necessarily think. As she hatches her next plot to hold onto Jason, he may be planning on killing his wife. He doesn't want to be married to her any more, and frankly I don't blame him. Girl is a few divas short of a soap opera. He loves Kevin and wants him to know that but is insanely jealous when Kevin begins dating Scott publicly. Juicy!!

There's a major event coming up that does what all good soap events do. Changes everything, brings a boatload of characters together and changes the directions of several stories. Yep thats right all of our favorites under one roof. Secrets come out, someone is arrested, and someone dies!!!

Here comes Royal, I better go and hide!!!! Maybe Mandy will let me hide out in her house or something!!

The Way It Is

Laura sipped her appletini and watched the crowd. So far there didn't seem to be any prospects to father her and Jasons child but the night was still young. Her eyes darted everywhere around the bar, finally settling on a man. He had dark blonde hair, a nice average build. She could definitely pass his kid off as Jasons.

She was concentrating so hard on her conquest for the evening that she didn't notice anyone saddle up next to her. “I know what you're doing and it makes me sick.”

Laura swung her head around, eyes widened. “W-w-w-what?”

“Drinking alone, dear,” Crazy Soap Lady smiled. “Let me grab a drink with you, we can catch up on new times.”

“I guess that would be ok,” Laura looked around, hoping to see Alyssa and whoever she was bringing with her.

“Waitress,” Crazy Soap Lady snapped her finger, “I would like a mimosa,”

“So how are you?”

“Laura dear, we are not doing the small talk thing, it's boring to me, and it's boring for the audience.”

“Audience?” Laura was confused.

“Never mind dear, you are looking to cheat on your husband, so you can get pregnant, and save your marriage,”

“How did you know?”

“Doesn't matter, I think that is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard,” The waitress set her drink in front of her. She took a sip and continued “Just because it may have worked once before doesn't mean it will work for you. What about DNA tests?”

“I'll switch them. Easy as pie.”

Crazy Soap Lady shook her head, “Why am I the one called crazy when you're on the loose? Do you really think it'll be that easy to switch DNA tests? If it was everyone would be doing it. I would be Anderson Becks older sister,”

“Do you mean Anderson Cooper, or Glenn Beck, they are 2 very different people,” Laura shook her head “And all it takes to switch some tests is some money and I have plenty at my disposal.”

Crazy soap lady eyed Laura appletini suspiciously, “I think those drinks are making you lose your mind!!” Laura shot her a look as she tried to grab the drink “Hey I want some crazy drink too!!”

Before either of them could say anything more, Alyssa joined the table. “What are we talking about?”

“Tell her your wacky, and doomed plan,”

The Way It Is

“How do you and Jason Griffin, know one another?” Shane asked, surveying his fiancee. “You know he's married to my cousin right?”

“No I didn't know that,” Sunny was still shaken up about her encounter with Jason. “I had no idea who that man was. I don't know how he knew me.” That wasn't true, she was petrified that someone had uncovered the secret she had long ago buried.

“I guess it doesn't matter since we both said our secrets were our own,” Shane smiled “Remember it's all in our past, and we're not going to allow the past to ruin our future.” He kissed her, his hands roaming over her body.

Sunny allowed her mind to go to the darkest recesses, the places she swore she'd never go again. What if Jason did know her secret? She would have to find a way to silence him, then it hit her. That girl, Alyssa she thought her name was had said something about Jason cheating on his wife, all Sunny had to do was get proof, and then her problem would simply go away.

When her attention returned to her and Shane, she realized that he had taken off all of her clothes, and his as well. Might as well keep her man happy, while she plotted to keep another one quiet, she thought.

Laura thought about what Sarah had said to her. Just get pregnant for real, was it really that simple? It couldn't really be that easy, what if she got pregnant and Jason still rejected her. The thought petrified her, but she also knew that Jasons dad had been on him to start a new generation of Griffins.

She decided that tonight was the night to get the deed done. No time like the present she smiled to herself. Pulling her cell phone out of her purse, she dialed Alyssas number. After what seemed like an eternity her voicemail finally clicked on.

“Hey Lys, it's Laura, you probably ignored my call but I wanted to see if you would want to go to the club tonight. Normally I wouldn't ask you, because of the whole you not liking me thing but since Savannah and I are no longer friends I don't have anyone to go with and it might be fun. Let me know.”

After she hung up, she tossed her phone on the bed, and began choosing her outfit for the evening. She found a little black dress she had bought after the wedding. Marrying Jason had transformed her life, and she wanted to make him proud so she bought all new clothes for when they went out to parties.

Her phone beeped, indicating she had a text. She almost squealed with delight when she read the message. 'Laura I'm in for tonight, bringing someone with me. Gonna be a blast despite the fact I hate you.'

Smiling, Laura began doing her hair. Tonight is the night my marriage will be saved, she thought. Aunt Sarah was right, it won't matter that the baby won't be Jasons, as long as theres a baby.

She didn't hear Jason walk in. “Laura we need to talk.”

“Not tonight dear,” Laura smiled. “How do I look?” She twirled in front of him.

“Fine. We need to talk though, it's really important.”

“Not tonight dear. Tonight, I'm going out to have some fun, to save our marriage.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Don't wait up.”

Jason stared at the door, after she closed it confused. What was going on he wondered. He grabbed his keys from the table and also headed out.

Kevin surveyed the Italian bistro Scott had decided on for their date. Tonight it seemed as if everyone in town had decided to come here. Just his luck, he tried doing something nice to help Savannah and now he would pay for it.

“Only like a half hour wait,” Scott smiled. Kevin sighed loudly. “I know it's a little but of a wait but the veal Parmesan is exquisite.”

“Maybe I'll choke on it,” Kevin sniped.

“Is something wrong?” Scott asked, trying to out his arm around his date.

Kevin dodged the PDA. “Alright, I'm just going to be blunt with you,” he took a deep breath. “The only reason I agreed to go out with you is because I made a deal with Alyssa. I told her to quit causing trouble for Savannah and she said she would if I went out with you.”

Kevin waited for the yelling to start but was shocked to see Scott smiling. “Well anything to get us started. It'll be a funny story to tell our grandkids.”

“Grandkids? Aren't you skipping a few steps?”

“Like the courtship and marriage?”

“Like me liking you. There is no way in hell this is going to lead anywhere.”

“You agreed to go out with me for a reason. Even if you don't realize it there must be some sort of attraction or else you wouldn't have agreed to the arrangement.”

“You must be out of your mind,” Kevin shook his head “I did it for my friend, to help her.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself,” Scott grinned even wider, “But a deal is a deal..”

The Way It Is

“Aunt Sarah can I talk to you?” Laura stood in the doorway, as she had for a few minutes, waiting for Sarah to look up at her. Finally she got her aunts attention.

“Come on in, Laura, dear. How are you?” Sarah was genuinely surprised to see her niece, as they hadn't talked in forever.

“Not so good,” Laura shook her head, “My marriage is in ruins and Jason is about to leave me. I love him so much I don't know what I'm going to do.”

“Oh dear,”

“Don't give me phony sympathy,” Laura said angrily, her eyes blazing. “That's not what I need right now, what I need is advice, advice on how to save my marriage.”

Sarah smelled a new way to get rid of Sunny once and for all. “Well Laura Dear, I will help you, if you help me. See your cousin Shane has gotten himself involved with this, this woman, I can not in all good conscience call her a lady, in any case and all this woman wants is one thing from your poor cousin,”

Laura held up her hand. “I don't need to know about my cousins sex life, I really don't want to know,”

“No, no, no thats what he gets from her. No what she wants from him is money, pure and simple.” Sarah watched her nieces facial expression “Here's the deal, you help me break them up and I will help you keep your marriage together.”

“What if Shane and this girl are really in love?” Laura asked. She wasn't sure that she could help, or that she even should.

“They're not. I wouldn't interfere if they were.” Sarah assured her. “So do we have a deal?”

Laura took a deep breath, she knew that the only person who could help her keep her marriage together was Sarah. “Yes We have a deal.” Laura took a deep breath “How do I save my marriage?”

“Simple darling,” Sarah smiled “Get pregnant.”

“No, no I can't fake a pregnancy, it would never work”

“Well of course faking a pregnancy wouldn't work, this isn't some cheesy soap opera. Get pregnant for real, even if the child isn't his, he'll have to stay with you. He won't admit that his wife slept around on him and he won't want to disappoint his family. It's the perfect plan.”

Laura thought about what her aunt just said, and as the words sunk in she realized that she had no choice. “That's brilliant, how did you ever think of it?”

“I wasn't born yesterday, dear. Now to get rid of Sunny, this is what I need you to do.......”

Jason walked around in a daze. Sams words still ringing in his head, “... It doesn't matter how she dies” Could he, should he kill Laura? Nah he decided, if she kept the paranoid act up, he would simply have her locked up. Having money made life much easier than if he were poor.

He bumped into someone. He looked up and seen a girl with blonde hair. There was something vaguely familiar about her. “Sorry I didn't see you”

“It's ok, I wasn't paying attention either,” She bent to pick up some of the papers that had falled out of her hand.

Jason also squatted, handing her some papers, “I'm Jason,”

Taking the papers “Thanks. I'm Sunny”

“Do I know you, you look familiar to me?”

“Listen thanks for helping me and sorry for bumping into you, but I'm not interested in hooking up or anything like that,”

“Neither am I, you just seem to be triggering a memory or something, Are you a model or something”

Sunny looked around hoping to find Shane, wishing he would rescue her from this weirdo. “Like I said I'm not into the hooking up scene, I have a fiancee,”

“And like I told you, I'm not hitting on you, quite the contrary really.”

“Wait, Why wouldn't you be hitting on me? I'm hot, I mean you don't stand a chance but why wouldn't you try at the very least?”

“You're just not my type!” Jason laughed

“Men!!” Sunny exclaimed, angrily, laughing “Can't live with 'em...”

“Oh My God I know where I know you from now..” Jason declared as Shane walked up

“You 2 know one another? How?.....”

Kevin approached the table with caution. He hadn't wanted to see Scott again but it was almost inevitable, as though a higher force was playing a cruel joke on him. Pushing those thoughts to the side, he had a mission and this was the only way to make it happen. He had to get Alyssa to leave Savannah alone, though Savannah would never admit it, Alyssa was really beginning to get to her.

“Kevie!!!” Alyssa squealed when she saw him. She stood and embraced him. “You remember Scott don't you?” She indicated her dining partner.

“Yea,” He turned and greeted his former date with the enthusiasm of a cat being bathed, “Hey.”

“How are you?” Scotts green eyes twinkled. “I had a great time last night.”

Turning his attention towards Alyssa “I need to talk to you...Alone,”

“Kevie, don't be rude, sit down, Mel will be joining us in a few, have dinner.”

“I don't want to, but I do need to talk to you,” Turning back to Scott “You don't mind if I steal her for a sec.” Without waiting for a response, he dragged Alyssa to an empty hallway.

“Scott, really likes you,” Alyssa smiled “Do you like him?”

“I'd rather cut myself and pour salt over the wounds than ever go out with him again,” Kevin shot “But I'm not here to talk about Scott, I'm here to talk about Savannah.”

“She's boring, let's talk about something more exciting.”

“Like paint drying?” Crazy Soap lady asked as she passed by.

“You need to leave her alone. Quit spreading these lies about her. What did she ever do to you?”

“She stole you away from me. As my best friend, I mean I always knew you were gay.”

“She didn't steal me away, you and I quit talking because you hate her for no good reason.” As an after thought he added “You and I are still tight”

Alyssa decided to use this to her advantage “Ok I'll stop lying about Savannah but you have to do something for me.”

“What?”

“Give Scott another chance.”

“No”

“If you don't I'll step up my scheme against Savannah and really make her life a living hell.”

“See this is why we don't talk like we used to.” Kevin sighed. “Fine, I'll go out with him again but I swear to God if you even breathe another lie about Savannah, I will tell everyone that little secret of yours.”

“Ok, Ok.” She smiled “You'll simply love Scott, he's such a great guy, and not bad to look at. You guys will make a great couple.”

“And they have chemistry too,” Crazy soap lady said, passing in the other direction. “What can't a lady use the bathroom?”

“Alyssa I'm going out on a date with him not marrying him.”

“Yet” Alyssa smiled. Everything was lining up just as she wanted it to.