Picture Of The Day: Introducing D-Arsin

Look for more with D-Arsin this summer! Interview, New Music, And More!

Cougar Town changing It's Name!!

All season producers of Cougar Town made fun, mocked, and generally showed their hatred for the title of the ABC hit sitcom. Like last year buzz jump started that they were going to change their title but this year there seems to be a legitimacy to the rumors this year, and thats because Bill Lawrence, the executive producer, tweeted that he was definitely going to change the title this year, "Screw it. I'm changing it (if Kevin's cool w it. Someone ask him for me). Seriously, we just decided. Will use fans to help w new title" but theres more at stake than just the title change, Bill also says if more people don't watch next year, my favorite comedy will be cancelled "ABC knows this: if only the "core" audience watches next year (2.0 in the demo last two weeks) the show will be... over." This can not happen, I need my weekly fix of Cougar Town!!!! 

Let's Talk: Nature vs Nurture

On his facebook page Van Hansis began talking about Nature vs Nurture but with a twist. Heres what the thespian had to say "ive been thinking this evening about nature vs. nurture. not in the sexuality content (i think it's really stupid to try to find a reason WHY people are who they are. just accept who they are. it isn't hard)" Nope the GG superstar isn;t wondering why people are gay but why they are talented "but what about talent? is talent a learned trait or an intrinsic one? when you look at singer's like whitney houston or christina agilaralala (SIC), are their voices a talent or a gift?" Hmm that is a very good question indeed, Van says he believes it can be both " i lean towards a gift. but what about van gogh, what about streep? i think the difference between a talent and a gift, is that not anyone can be given a gift, but anyone can find a talent. a gift is a thing given, talent is something that must be found inside." I tend to agree with him, I think it is both a gift and a learned trait. Even if God blesses you with a talent for something, you still have to work hard at it and practice it every day. I write every day, at least a combined 5,000 words, between my fiction and writing for GG, and everyday I learn something new. 


Tell Me Gossipers What Do You Think?

Secret Most Wanted

This news probably doesn't make Sarah Michelle Gellar too happy. Her new show Ringer is not the most anticipated for this fall, that honor goes to Andrew Miller (really Kevin Williamsons but who cares) Secret Circle.  In fact 33% more than twice those of any other show, can not wait to see how this supernatural soap unfolds. 

Let's Talk: Happy Memorial Day

In honor of Memorial Day I am taking the day off. So today tell me your favorite BBQ, what you're looking forward to this summer, whatever you want to tell me or talk about Let's Talk!!! I am probably somewhere eating BBQ or swimming for the first time this summer, and later will be prepping for this Sunday: GG's Second Annual Gay Day!! If you missed the first one, I will re-post those stories on Saturday. 

Blind: One Life Divas Exit And Staying

Ravenbeauty

One beloved heroine is leaving us (this one hurts) and one has decided to stick it out for loyalty sake.

Most Popular And My Guess: Leaving Kassie DePavia Staying: Kristen Alderson

Blind: Surprise Couple, Surprise baby

Dlisted (Congrats Michael K on you first blind item!)

This is Dlisted’s first original blind item EVER and I can say with complete confidence that this is also the first time in the history of blind items that the answer isn’t John Travolta, Ben Affleck, Blake Lively or Betty White. I know, right? Now on to it!

I’m not very good at labeling celebrities by grade, so I’ll just say that your mom definitely knows who this movie actor is. As for this movie actress, I’m not so sure. When I brought this actress’ name up with my mom, she thought I was talking about some Bravo reality star.

When these two got together there was a little flame of drama around them. They both just came out of long relationships and were suddenly together! And now she’s pregnant. They were overheard talking about how she’s having their baby in the fall. Hearts will be broken! And so will her Oscar if she lets their baby play with it.

Most Popular Guess: Scarlett Johansson And Sean Penn

My Guess: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig

Blind: Used To Be A Fantasy, Now A Drugged Up Mess

CDAN


This former B list movie and television actress has seen her career stall since leaving a franchise. While she has been dabbling in c*ke quite frequently lately, this past week it got out of hand. She basicallyspent her time overseas hoovering up as much c*ke as she could get while doing anything and everything with monied euro guys. If you had a big enough wallet and were spending freely and dishing out c*ke, this former fantasy girl had no problems with pawing groping and a quickie with whoever.


Most Popular Guess: Kristen Dunst 


My Guess: Pamela Anderson

Blind: Partied All Night

New York Post


Which high-profile Cannes juror was out partying till 6 a.m. along the Riviera the other night with his Hollywood pals instead of resting up for another day of cinema screenings?


Most Popular And My Guess: Jude Law

Blind: Put This Creep Away!

Buzz Foto


This Blind today is brought to you by a foreign, non-acting Celebrity who has a strange f*tish. An illegal one. This Celebrity has too much money and must be evil, because they are allegedly figuring out ways to buy and film animal cruelty f*etish films, ones that involve high-heeled women crushing small animals. If the source is right on this, there is already an investigation under way.


Most Popular Guess: Simon Cowell


My Guess: Gordon Ramsey

Blind: 3 Baby Mama's

Blind Gossip

 Arnold isn’t the only one with multiple Baby Mamas. This well-known (but occasionally troubled) Actor has three baby mamas, none of whom are famous. He left Babymama1 high and dry after the found out she was pregnant. Then he got a woman in a small town pregnant. However, he never made any sort of commitment to Babymama2, either.

A few years later, the Actor had the nerve to

return to the same small town… with BabyMama3 in tow! He thought it would be nice if 2 and 3 raised his children near each other. Thoughtful of the stud, right? So, now he has three children with three different women. Just like his lesser-known brother.

Not that this will ever get publicized. Even his parents don’t know about all three babies. They still think of Actor as their golden boy and hope that he will get back together with one of his very famous ex-girlfriends.

Most Popular And My Guess: Owen Wilson

Blind: Taste Of His Own Medicine

The Daily


 Which infamous Hollywood philanderer may be getting a taste of his own medicine? A screenwriter has been boasting about hooking up with the legendary bad boy’s new fiancee and telling people the wedding “won’t happen”


Most Popular Guess: Jesse James 


My Guess Hugh Hefner 

Blind: Sculpting Into Pregnancy

New York Post 


Which famous beauty who spends endless hours and energy toning her sculpted body is now concentrating on trying to get pregnant? She’s been undergoing secret fertility treatments in LA


Most Popular Guess: Jillian Michaels 


My Guess: Tyra Banks 

Blind: Wife Turned Him Into Robot

New York Post 


Which A-list actor has become a ‘Scientology robot’ controlled by his wife after she introduced him to the church, according to his friends?


Most Popular And My Guess: Will Smith

Blind: Sassy Pants

New York Post

Which sassy sitcom star, who is just as brazen off-screen, horrified patrons of a civilized downtown restaurant who gawked and shushed her for her loud, over-the-top outbursts as she dined with pals?


Most Popular Guess: Busy Phillips


My Guess: Betty White

Blind: Show Fell Through

New York Post 


Which bright young thing is having trouble shopping a TV pilot based on her best seller? A deal with a major cable network fell through, and now lesser outlets are agreeing the project is wafer-thin.


Most Popular and My Guess: Lauren Conrad 

Blind: Odd Pairing

Blind Gossip


These two female celebrities have each been out of the spotlight for awhile. We discovered that part of the reason is because they were both in reh*b. At the same time. At the same facility. While they didn’t know each other prior to reh*b, they quickly bonded over discussions ofmusic and divorce and dealing with the paparazzi. They are now talking about working on a project together, although it would be an incredibly odd pairing. They come from different countries and have very different backgrounds. One is tattooed and foul-mouthed, and the other is practically royalty.


Most Popular and My Guess: Amy Winehouse and Lisa Marie Presley 

Blind: Family Feud

Buzz Foto


She is a non-famous and very insecure wife to this lead singer of a Top 40 Rock Band who lives outside of LA. The couple have only been married for a few years, but she is so worried about affairs and losing him, she’ll do whatever she can to keep him happy. The trouble is, she hates, HATES his mother and he can’t stay away from her. He recently suggested having his mom move in and the wife said she was happy to have her, but she’s really planning on ways to make the Mother-in-law miserable. The two fight like cats and dogs behind his back and the Mother-in-law is said to have plans to split up the marriage. The wife is gearing up for this already having a neighbor secretly plant flowers the mother in allergic to. Who knows when this family feud will end or if the marriage will end first?


Most Popular Guess: Tanya Flowers, married to Brandon Flowers of The Killers


My Guess: Patrick Monahan from Train

Blind: Smoked A Little Weed, Paid A Little Money

PopBitch


Which superstar flew in to Singapore to perform at a festival and caused pandemonium at his hotel when he set the fire alarms off while smoking weed in his room? Even though it is a teeny-tiny bit illegal there, the singer said he’d happily fly off, leaving them blowin’ in the wind, unless he could smoke where he liked. Execs ended up having to pay the swanky hotel to turn off the alarm system around his suite while he was there


Most Popular And My Guess: Justin Bieber

Blind: Super Duper Cooper Should Keep It In The Pooper

Ted C

We’ve filled you in on lots of the gross-out goss that goes on behind Vice stars’ closed doors, and now one of the stinkiest celebs has finally caught a whiff of his own dirty laundry.

We’re sure you can guess who, too…

Super-Duper Cooper, the superstar who likes his nookie with a side of No. 2!

And when SDC caught wind that we were blabbing about his penchant for poo, he wasn’t too pleased:

‘Cause the dude’s going out of his way to make sure hotel insiders don’t snitch to us again!

See, Coop was set to make his return to Sin City—and his smelly sexcapades, we’re sure—but didn’t want to leave a tell-all trail this time.

So like any good celeb worth their A-list status, he had his people take care of it.

We’re advised that Coop’s assistant called up every million-dollar, high-rise hotel the star has stayed in, including the hotel our partic chatty friend works at, and had a conversation that goes a little something like this:

“Hello! Hope you’ve been well! How are the kids? Blah blah blah, by the way, have you heard any rumors about Super-Duper Cooper lately?”

Our mischievous source, of course says, “No, why?” And that’s when Coop’s pal gets sassy, saying:

“Oh, there’s just an old gossip columnists who’s out to get Coop. They don’t understand him because Coop is irreverent.”

And when our in-the-know worker said that didn’t keep up with the goss, Coop’s fellow booked a room on the spot.

Hm, wonder if he’ll be sure to clean up after himself this time.

Listen up, Coop, as long as you keep being so careless with your feces fun, I’ll be sure to blab it. We can both be irreverent in that way, huh? But thanks for reading the blolumn!

(And for the record, you’ve kissed women my age and sure seemed to get off on it, dude.)

And It Ain’t: Alexander Skarsgård, Charlie Sheen, Kevin Jonas

Most Popular and My Guess: John Mayer

Blind: When CNN Is The News

New York Post

Which rival CNN bookers got into a shouting match for all to hear at the network over an ongoing game of guest-poaching?


Most Popular and My Guess: Bookers for Pierce Morgan and Elliot Spitzer

Blind: Got Some On The Side

CDAN

This A list movie actor who is supposedly involved with an almost A list movie actress sure was not showing signs of it at a recent party. When asked how he had met his date for the night, our actor said he had called a guy who called a guy, and was not quite sure what her name was, but that she was really good in bed.


Most Popular And My Guess: Scarlett Johansson And Sean Penn

Blind: Dead Wife Effecting Current Marriage

Buzz Foto

This famous celeb lost a wife to illness several years back and is still trying to pick up the pieces even though he’s been remarried. His current wife is struggling with pictures of his dead wife in the home and all of the other reminders that he is holding on to. She recently convinced housekeepers to box up all of her things and sent them to storage. When he found out, he was so hurt and upset he has served her with papers.


Most Popular And My Guess: Pierce Brosnan

Blind Gossip

 When this young performer was admitted to reh*b a while back, there was a lot of discussion about the problem that caused her to seek treatment. Her frail body and sunken eyes gave some indication that something was very wrong. When it was revealed that she was there to battle an eating disorder, people sympathized with her and praised her for getting help for an affliction that impacts many young girls.

Maybe her fans wouldn’t be quite so full of sympathy if they knew the real reason she was in rehab. Her profound weight loss wasn’t the result of anorexia. It was her*in. She’s been an add*ct off and on for years. Since a close friend of hers died of a drug overdose, she’s been struggling to stay clean.

Most Popular And My Guess: Mary Kate Olsen

Ted C

Ever wonder why hunky heartthrob Rick Danger-Zip split with his long-time gf Sunny Sweet-Cheeks? They seemed just perfect for each in that whole Britney and Justin sort of way, which is why it absolutely broke our hearts when they called it splits.

Well, here’s the (itchy, crawly) deal:

Like so many superstars-turned-Vice stars do, Rick has it all: fame, money, and—shocker!—a good reputation. The good ol’ USA couldn’t get enough of his handsome puss and sometimes-charitable ways.

But Rick had something else that Sunny didn’t find as appealing…

Crabs.

Yep, Rick picked up a pesky little case of crotch critters while he was out cheating on poor Sunny.

This wasn’t one of those open relayshes that T-town horn dogs boast about while banging broads on the side. Sunny loved her dude and had no idea that he was hopping in and out of every bed in Hollywood.

Until his itchy groin gave him away, that is.

Shame, too, Sunny is drop-dead gorgeous and über successful in her own right. What gives with these guys not being happy with the amazing chick they have at home? Typical.

Well the formerly-tight twosome parted ways and Saint Sunny was kind enough not to tattle to the tabloids, but instead told everyone the two were totally cool and she was happy they could still be friends.

Yeah, right.

We’re just tres pleased Sunny moved on to a new man who treats her right. She deserves it, after all the crap she put up with. And a kick start in her multi-talented career was an extra nice F.U. to her former beau.

But Rick found himself a new lady, too. One with big boobs and questionable talent (just how he likes ‘em) and here’s the kicker…he claims she’s his one and only these days.

So, now the dim-witted gal is just sitting around on her tight toosh until her main man brings home another case of genital goodies. ‘Cause you know Rick is still up to his cheating ways, dontcha?

You didn’t think he had actually reformed did you?

And It Ain’t: Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, Alex Pettyfer and Diana Agron, Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian

Most Popular Guess:  Leo Dicaprio and Bar Refaeli

My Guess: Nick Jonas And Selena Gomez

Blind: Sad Situation

Buzz Foto


This very depressed C list actress is doing her best to find a way to survive her crushing mental illness. She’s engaged in very self destructive behaviors in the past as a coping mechanism, but her new dr*g is diving into one relationship after another. We recently heard about her breakup and now we’ve heard about her new relationship. We hear the relationship is not a good thing, because it’s abusive. On both ends


Most Popular Guess: Jennifer Love Hewitt


My Guess: Hayden Pannetiere

Blind: Losing Weight Has Never Been Easier Or More Expensive

Blind Gossip


Wow, she’s looking good, isn’t she? This award-winning actress has lost quite a bit of weight over the past year. Too bad you can’t chalk it all up to the exercise and/or diet methods she’s claiming. You can, however, credit her bariatric surgeon. When she finishes dropping the weight, she’s already planned to return to the same overseas hospital for a few additional procedures. Some liposuction, a breast lift, and a tummy tuck will finish off her newly svelte package, and make it a pleasure for her to look in the mirror again.


Most Popular Guess: Jennifer Hudson


My Guess: Kirstie Alley 

Blind: Wanted Wife To Cross Dress

National Enquirer


What eccentric actor was obsessed with making his former wife dress up as a d*ceased male idol? The marriage was doomed when the little missus refused to don the iconic entertainer’s garb and imitate his signature swagger.


Most Popular Guess: Nic Cage And Lisa Marie Presley (Icon Being dad Elvis Presley)

National Enquirer


Which two popular reality stars claim to be BFFs in public, but behind the scenes are carrying on a vicious feud over their respective fashion lines? The supposed pals are each working feverishly to crush the other’s competing clothing label


Most Popular And My Guess: Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port

Blind: Drawn To Him

National Enquirer


This A-List movie star is snorting mountains of c*caine. And although his dr*g problem is common knowledge in Hollywood, top actresses are drawn to the handsome hunk like a magnet and he continues to put notches on his own bed post.


Most Popular Guess: Leo Dicaprio


My Guess: Colin Farrell 

Blind: From Tart To Pop Tart

Blind Gossip


Which sexy, buxom, B-list star – known for breaking up a director’s marriage – is now trying to become a pop star? Even though the former TV actress was dropped by a UK  record label, she’s still trying to charm US music producers with catchy demo tracks.


Most Popular And My Guess: Rose McGowan

Blind: Her 30 Second Man

CDAN

Estella Warren

Called this fellow countryman and celebrity, her 30 second guy, and that was actually his record. Most of the time he could not even get to where he was going without finishing if you know what I mean.


Most Popular Guess: Michael Buble


My Guess: JD Fortune 

Blind: Analyzing The Play

CDAN


Estella Warren


 Complained about having sex with this B- list movie actor with a bigger name than his resume should really give him, because she says to everyone that he always wanted to talk about it before and after and analyze the whole event.


Most Popular Guess: Josh Hartnett


My Guess: Mark Wahlberg

Blind: Why Marriage Ended

CDAN


Estella Warren Says She 


Had an affair with this A list movie actor. Was said to have been the reason his marriage ended.


Most Popular And My Guess: Ryan Reynolds

Soap Sense

What has happened to soaps? In a time not too far forgotten they used to incorporate holidays into their storylines. Somehow, somewhere along the way producers and writers have forgotten that sometimes real life is the greatest gift for them to use.

My poor, poor All My Children is in dire need of some good news. With their David Hayward mystery they really have stumbled. What could have been an intriguing, solid, classic mystery has delved into a hot mess. With many fans unhappy, I want to remind them how good the show used to be. Back in the 90's the show used Halloween (did you think I forgot the theme of the article)to re-introduce possibly the best villain they have ever had, Janet "From Another Planet" Green. Her daughter and a few other kids went into the woods and found a "witch".Eventually she began her reign of terror again.

What I'm hoping the writers do this time around with David, is something scary and creative. David was "haunting" Greenlee already, but only when no one was around. So what if David misses his grandson AJ so much that he can't stay away? AJ sees grandpa David and tells the adults around him about what he has been seeing. With his troubled behavior already, the adults think that he is very unstable until JR finds a clue that David is really alive.

Unlike AMC, I don't have a history with The Bold And The Beautiful, but they seem to have really great costumes, especially for the men. They had resident hunks Owen and Rick in basically a piece of cloth and baby powder.What I would like to see B&B do for Halloween is throw a costume party, where the population of the show gets together and secrets, storylines explode and twists. Maybe Jackie and Rock kiss again and both start to have feelings for one another while Owen and Bridget realize their better off as co-parents not lovers. The show stopper I have in Mind? Stephanie, dressed as death comes in and reveals to her her shocked loved ones that she is dying and wants to be with Brooke.

Truly I wish the shows would once again go about incorporating these little holidays into their show plans because they mean so much to other people, and can help move stories. And in the all important November sweeps, you can't go wrong with the cards stacked in your favor.

Soap Sense

For the first column back after the new year, I decided it had to be a dozy. What gets fans, specifically soap fans talking more than sex? that led me down a whole  path and got my brain working, a shocker right. Sex on soaps usually spells doom for a couple, and I really want to know why that is.

Almost everyone, every couple has sex but if we were in a soap there'd be lots of drama coming from it. If a happy couple has sex on any soap but we'll call All My Children out on it this time, there is drama on the horizon for them. Jake and Amanda were chugging along happily, then they had sex out of the blue and suddenly Cara is in town. Now make no mistake the story has me on the edge of my seat and everyone involved is very talented and brings their A-game. The point is that they had sex and Cara showedup, almost as if they cast a spell for a storyline.

Another storyline that was ramped up because of sex on AMC was Liza, Damon, Tad and Colby. For so long all the characters were snoozy and boring, then Damon is leaving Pine Valley and suddenly the writers/producers exploit the very evident chemistry between Damon and Liza's portrayers. Once again the fallout, the storyline is excellent and everyone including Natalie Hall (Colby) is on fire, if they knew sex would really invigorate this section of the canvas, why not have Damon/Liza hook up before now?

Over on One Life To Live, Bo thinks he had sex with Inez, which effectively has destroyed his marriage to beloved Nora. Here's one instance where having sex (or not in this case) really wrecked the story. Why tell viewers right off the bat that Inez and Bo didn't hook up? A little mystery would have added to the story and fed better into 'Who Killed Eddie Ford' story and would have caused even more ripple effects when the truth did come out.

And what would a column about sex be without talking about The Bold And Beautifuls notorious sex addict, Brooke Logan. Last year message boards lit up when it was revealed that Brooke had sex with her daughters teenage boyfriend, and claimed she thought it was her husband. Apparently she has no feeling left in her "na-na" or the boy was the um exact size of Brookes on/off husband Ridge. Come on people lets deal with this realistically, have Brooke admit that she is a sex addict and her and ridge embark on an open marriage. That type of storyline would really jazz up any soap but fits right in with the campy style that B&B employs.

INstead of making sex a special event, or the launch of a new storyline, lets hope the soaps make it a part of everyday or nearly everyday life

Mandy’s Musings: My Soap Opera Family

Mandy’s Musings: My Soap Opera Family
By Mandy Bates

The other day after class, my family and I went out to lunch and then hung out at my mom’s house afterward. One o’clock rolled around and I snatched up the remote, I had to watch All My Children! My mom stuck around. She said she wanted to see what “that old bag Erica Kane” is up to (Sorry Royal, mom’s words, I just quoted her!). I told her Erica is on vacation, but she kept watching. I pointed out Erica’s daughter Bianca to her (didn’t I sound like Erica there, lol). Then I had to explain who Caleb was, and Scott, so then she wanted to know where Adam was. Do you have any clue how hard it is to try and catch someone up on the past 25 years of Pine Valley? She watched it a long time ago, but hasn’t seen it in forever. Oh boy, did she remember Liza, though! Now I know where I get it; my mom was yelling at the tv! She was telling Tad to get away from the dirty lying Liza! She then proceeded to tell me all about Liza in her teen years. Then imagine her reaction to Angie being pregnant! She flipped out, she said Angie is way too old to be having babies because she was her age at least or older back when Mom watched. Then I had to try and explain SORAS to her. I told her that Colby (who she also hates) is Liza and Adam’s child, and she used to be 16, then 18, then 20 and now apparently she’s 18 again. She rolled her eyes, but I noticed her still watching, haha.

So right after All My Children is One Life to Live. She kept asking me where Asa was. He was never on the show since I started watching it, but I’ve seen enough to know who he was. She was pretty excited to see Dorian, though. Guess familiar faces are nice.

Then my grandma showed up. She also used to watch the soaps, and occasionally still does when her daughter decides to watch them downstairs instead of in her room, so she knows the actors and characters, but she’s not up to speed. She said Erica Kane must be in her 60’s now. I giggled and said “Maybe, but Susan Lucci is only 45!”, thinking of the Daytime Emmys this year. Then my grandma said, “Susan Lucci is 45?” My mom interrupted with, “No way, she’s been on that show for a hundred years!” I tried to explain myself, but I had to give up. I said, “Susan Lucci is pushing 70 (sorry again Royal!), but Erica Kane is 45!” My grandma said, “Oh, I was confusing her with Erika Slezak! She’s 60 or so, right? Oh wait, she’s on another show.”

This day was quite eventful and fun, but it made me wish I had someone I could actually watch my shows with, aside from my son. He’s grounded, so the only tv he sees is what I’m watching. He pretends he hates soaps, but he’s very interested in Greenlee. And now that I think of it, he loved her when he was a baby, too, lol. He gets mad at me when I yell at the tv, usually at Ryan, or whoever is talking to Ryan. “Kill him! Punch him!” is normal conversation in my house when Ryan is on screen. Although, I have to admit, my son did yell at Jesse to shut up this week when Angie was trying to tell him she’s sick! That was pretty funny. But it would be pretty cool to be able to watch the show live with someone who knows the storylines and won’t tell me spoilers, like certain boards that I can’t go to anymore… I guess I’ll just have to watch it with my family, who at times can give Pine Valley-ians a run for their money!

Mandy's Musings: Who Do They Think They're Writing For?

Mandy's Musings: Who Do They Think They're Writing For?

By Mandy Bates

In response to Generation Gossip Investigates: How can Soaps Survive and Thrive?

Who Do They Think They’re Writing For?

Daytime TV has finally become the horribly written, cheesy quasi-drama that non-viewers have been calling it for years. Do the writers even have a clue who they’re writing for? Once upon a time, they were writing for housewives who actually had access to a TV (or long ago, a radio) during the day. But with housewives came their kids, kids who have grown up watching soaps and continue to do so now that they’re adults thanks to VCRs (which I still use), DVR and the Soap Net channel. These people are not only housewives but educated professionals, and the filth that the daytime writers are throwing at us is insulting. Okay, fine, they don’t have to actually be a doctor to write for them, but at least hit up wikipedia before throwing out a bunch of terms that people who are actually in the medical field laugh at. Or, better yet, stop recycling storylines and taking them from the other soaps. Didn’t they have to take a creative writing course in college? Did they even go to college?

Let me just say that I am a soap fan. I’ve been watching All My Children since before I can remember, and when my mom was a housewife way back when, we watched General Hospital (which I must admit I’ve stopped watching). Recently I’ve started watching One Life to Live but I’ve only got a few months of that under my belt. For a while there, I thought OLTL was much better than AMC, but lately, I think they both suck.

Okay, fine, the writers want me to believe yet another back-from-the-dead story. I get it. Actors leave, they get promised stuff, they come back. Fine. But am I really supposed to be on board with everything that comes with it? Okay, it made for great drama when All My Children’s Greenlee (Rebecca Buddig) found “the love of her life” Ryan (Cameron Mathison) in bed with her arch enemy, Erica Kane (Susan Lucci) and vowed revenge. But then we’re supposed to jump on the Rylee (Ryan and Greenlee) train because Ryan knows what’s best for Greenlee? We’re supposed to swoon over the fact that he kidnapped her, threw her over his shoulder after her having had back surgery, and locked her in a room even though he knows she’s claustrophobic? That he’s in her face every time she turns around promising he’ll stay away? Manipulated her employee into putting them together yet again? Seriously, writers, this is not how you get fans.

And that’s not the only crap they’re showing us on AMC. Not only do we have to deal with insulting cavemen, we also have a college-age spoiled brat and her on-again/off-again dying brother trying to get rid of the wicked stepmother. Colby (Natalie Hall) and J.R. (Jacob Young) are doing nothing but making me feel bad for Annie (Melissa Claire Egan), so soon after the writers tried to get us to hate her for framing her daughter. The writers seriously need to decide if Annie is a good guy or a bad guy and write her that way. I feel really sorry for the girl, which is probably not what I’m supposed to feel. And by the way, can someone either get Brittany Allen (Marissa) acting lessons or write her off the show? The girl needs to learn how to not smile with every line she delivers. Happy, sad, crying, yelling, it’s all smiles for her. Besides, Marissa is probably the most boring character I’ve ever seen. She could have had a great storyline, what with being sold at birth and all, but no, I’m bored to tears by her.

And I’m angered beyond all at the supposed Chief of Police, Jesse Hubbard (Darnell Williams). This guy takes more liberty with the law than Billy the Kid. How many kidnappings has he been in on now, three? There was Kendall, Annie, and I’m not sure if he knew about Erica taking David recently, but I’m pretty sure he just plain wouldn’t care. He constantly talks down to everyone, jumped on the Ryan train, and treats his daughter like a piece of trash. Hmm… that’s right, his 20 year old daughter. But wait, wasn’t he in the “witness protection program” for 20 years? Didn’t take him too long to get over his old family and get a new one. Maybe that new family had a head start, and that’s why he had to “donate his organs.” And constantly shoving Natalia (Shannon Kane) to the backburner for more important things in his life, like Zach (Thorsten Kaye) and David. No wonder the poor kid became a cop, she thought she’d get some attention from her daddy. But all her daddy wants to do is tell her she’s wrong (when she’s right, anyone remember her investigation into Stuart’s death) and throw it in her face that she’s only a rookie. But wait! He can use her to get David, right? Let’s fire the rookie and tell her if she models for Fusion that she can be a detective! Give me a break. Not only are they writing Jesse as a horrible person/father, he’s the most crooked chief of police since Stanley Lowell on OLTL. Makes me sorta miss Lowell. At least you could understand why he was doing what he was doing. With Jesse, it’s really hard to grasp him putting all these people ahead of his family and (lack of) morals.

Let’s hop over to One Life to Live. Can Jessica (Bree Williamson) grow up, please? This is ridiculous. I’m sure if someone woke up thinking it was 11 years ago, they’d be all sorts of confused. And probably all kinds of hurt. But can Jessica please stop stalking Christian (David Fumero)? It’s getting really old. How many times does he have to tell Jessica no? How many times do we have to listen to her whine about her knowing how he feels? Knowing they belong together, knowing… wait, did she turn into Ryan on AMC? Sure sounds like it… Anyway, get over it Jess. I am.

And her brother Rex (John-Paul Lavoisier) needs to get off my screen, too. Let’s face it, the guy can’t act. He portrays Rex as nothing more than a Neanderthal cartoon. His facial expressions are too over the top for stage acting, let alone television. And the character really needs to get over himself and accept some blame. All he can ever do is accuse and blame everything on everyone else, nothing is ever his fault. He seems to find joy in rubbing people’s faces in their mistakes, although he himself has never made one. He’s got no respect for anyone except maybe Bo, but even that is debatable. Maybe John-Paul should move over to Disney channel. The kids really go crazy for the over-emphasized faces and running into tables stuff.

This is quite refreshing! I usually post on the Soap Central boards, and we get yelled at and posts deleted if we dare speak ill of an actor. We can’t attack them or hurt their feelings. Don’t get me wrong, the Soap Central boards are great, fun, and I love them, but some of the moderators are way up on high horses. Besides, if the actors are gonna get their feelings hurt, they can either not read the boards, or deal with it. It’s called life. If you suck, you’re gonna get called out on it. But then, this is the age of the trophies where everyone is a winner, which is a subject for another day.

And so I come to my final point of daytime writers: Kish! Kish is what viewers have nicknamed the couple of Kyle and Fish (Brett Claywell and Scott Evans). The Kish storyline is probably the only one that was well-written. In fact, I think it’s the best storyline on a soap since Michael Cambius invaded Pine Valley (wrong show, I know, just sayin’…) Viewers have fallen in love with Kish, especially since Fish finally came out of the closet at the mass gay wedding, defending against the gay bashers while he was supposed to be keeping order. But no. We finally get a great storyline, one that can continue to be great, with incredible actors, and they get fired. Click here and here and here for all the details. I’m just super disappointed. The greatest storyline of our generation and it’s gone. They really don’t care who they’re writing for, as long as they’re getting that fat paycheck.

Crazy Soap Lady Talks Famewhores

Yay!! It has finally happened Gossipers, my first pitch for a column went right through. Bite on that Mandy! You know I actually went to her house, so we could be friends, and maybe collaborate on a column together and she hid. Yep she seen me driving up and turned off all the lights. Well maybe the lights were already off, come to think of it maybe it wasn't Mandy's house after all whatever she snubbed me and I am mad about it.

You know what else makes me mad? No of course you don't because you're not mind readers but luckily I am going to tell you. These guys and gals running around famous for what? They have no discernible talents unless showing off your naked body is now a requirement for becoming a celebrity, and if thats the case then I should be on the same level as Angelina Aniston. I know thats not really her last name, but I think she and Jennifer are really lesbian lovers, see they hate each other too much not to be. I watch my soaps, I'm a hip old lady. Well broken hip old lady.

Anyways that Levi Johnstoner, you know the one who boffed that Palin kid and knocked her up, broke up with her then after showing some skin in the porn magazine reconciled with her, only to have another baby mama. Lordy if soaps were written like this they could do product placement for viagra and whatever that herpe medicine is. So just because he had sex with the daughter of a politician that would be plucked from obscurity but my beloved Johnny M choose the dingbat to be his running mate. OO how provocative does that sound, running mate. He bared his booty in that plaything magazine and now he has his own reality show.

Spencer Bratt is another one who has no talent but thinks he's a superstar. I mean how could he think he is a superstar with the mop on top of his head. But whats worse than his hair do is when he opens his mouth and talks about the sex tapes he made with his barbie doll wife Heidi Mattresstag. Me and my husband made a silent sex tape but you never heard me talk about it. And trust me more people want to see my husband naked than they do Spencer, and this tape was from 1776.

Gossipers I say we stop making these boys who only want to show us their power poles celebrities. Let's go back to the way it used to be and you had to have talent, not just a hot body to be famous.

Crazy Soap Lady Talks End Of The Year

Didja miss me Gossipers? Who am I kidding, of course you did. I would have done a column the last few weeks but I had to deal with the She Who Must Not Be Named situation. What happened was I was trying to relieve myself, and You Know Who happened to be In The Stall that I ran into, and suddenly I'm entering her bubble and violating her or something.

If she wanted to be violated she should watch that Real housewives with Camille Plastic or whatever. Is there anything natural on that woman? She looks like Kelsey Letterman or whoever that was on that show with the dog, you know the cute one that never got the top billing he deserved. Anyways she looks like a wax figure come to life, Everytime I get near here, I just want to take a pin and push it into her lip but am afraid that some judge somewhere will say I intentionally caused a flood.

Even though it wouldn't really be my fault, I say we blame Betty White. Everyone says this was the year of betty and their right. She was everywhere, I even think I wiped my booty with her face one day. Not literally of course, but I think she was on toilet paper or something. I can't keep track somehow she made Hannah Montana seem under represented on things.

You know what else was misrepresented in 2010? Justice. Mandy continues to be able to do whatever she wants while I have to watch myself and make sure not to step on her toes or anything. Which for the record I have never done, I never once set foot on her, well not her toes anyways. how was I to know that she was at the beach and her head wasn't a rock in my way. Maybe in 2011 she can put aside her jealousy of my fame and we can be friends once and for all.

Royal Rant: Best And Worst Of 2010 pt 2

Most Addictive Show: Brothers And Sisters: The Walkers have always been one of my favorites but especially the last few weeks you can't turn your head without missing something. The cast is always impressive but Luke McFarland stands out.

Best Movie Actor: Leonardo Dicaprio. Shutter Island was a tour de force performance for him and Inception proved that he has the mettle to keep making action movies. Some sour pusses claim that his performance in Inception was the same as his Shutter Island but I disagree, the accent was the same but thats all.

Best Movie Actress: Kim Catrall. This was a tough catergory for me to choose but ultimately went with Samanths Jones, aka Kim Catrall. Sex And The City 2 was torn apart by the critics but Kim kept her signature character from falling apart unlike some of the other actress' (coughKristenDavisCough) Sam was going through menopause but Kim decided to keep Sams attitude in tact.

Best Movie: Shutter Island. The story, the acting everything flowed and meshed together perfectly. The twist at the end (I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it) put the movie over the top

Royal Rant: Best And Worst Of 2010

Worst Cancellation: Melrose place 2.0, yes the ratings sucked but each and every week the show was improving. Added to that the sheer star power of Heather Locklear and the show would have become a qualified hit if given the time and love it needed. Alas we will never know what was meant to be, and 4616 Melrose is closed fr business once again.

Best TV Show: Cougar Town. Courtney Cox leads this ensemble comedy that seems to get better each and every week. In it's second season Jules (Miss Cox) and Grayson  (Josh Hopkins) are going strong but not overwhelmingly happy. Each weeks seems to bring a new struggle for them and thankfully they have the cul de sac crew to help them. Christa Miller and busy Phillips are overwhelmingly funny as Jules' best friends Ellie and Laurie. The guest stars keep things fresh and moving each week, with the stand out being Courtney's best friend Jennifer Aniston. 


Most Improved Comedy: Better With You. The show was a wreck in the pilot until the final act when suddenly it found its funny bone. Now the Joann Garcia, Jennifer Finnigan sitcom delivers some poignant moments between belly laughs. Bonus points for the show casting Debra Jo Rupp as the girls' mother and Jake Lacy as Joanna's finacee. 


Best TV On DVD: Ally McBeal the complete series. The show slid from drama to comedy in the time it took characters to bump into one another in the unisex bathroom and thats not a bad thing. Calista Flockhart always shone as the titular character. The comparison between Ally and Kitty Walker (her new character) is one everyone tries to make but fails because there is no one quite like Ms. McBeal. 

GG's Top 10 Stories Of The Week

10. Armie Hammer Is Trying To Reclaim His Top Hunk Status

9. This Blind Item Reveal Is Old

8. Robin Strasser Will Be Bowing Out Of Llanview Early

7. Who Else Is Leaving OLTL?

6. Days Has New Headwriters

5. Eden Riegel and Andrew Miller Welcomed Their Child

4. Susan Lucci Sounds Off

3. Brandon Routh Is Quite The Man

2. This Is The Most Commented On Story Ever, and Has Led Me To Do Another Story On It

1. Agnes Nixon Says That Hope Is Not Lost For Cancelled Soaps

Breaking: Susan Not Sure AMC Is Ending

The roller coaster never stops in regards to the soap cancellations. Susan Lucci appeared on The Talk today and she told Sara Gilbert that while she believes All My children will undoubtedly end on ABC, she doesn't think AMC will come to a close this September. I am looking for the exact quote as we speak, I missed The Talk for One Life To Live but her quote lit up my Facebook page, She also said that she is 100% behind a network move and will stay with the show!!!

Dat Song Is Catchy

By now you all know I live undiscovered artist, and helping them get a fan following. Well this time, its a great song from an incredible artist, in a genre I know very little about: Rap. However my friend Amanda swore to me that I would love ABM and the song, which is called Dat Body Gyal.  So far she hasn't been wrong and just from the little bit I have heard I do love the song. So tell me gossipers, what do you think about the song?

Picture Of The Day: Jeff Bowtied

Hunk Of The Week: Billy Miller