Friday, December 31, 2010

Crazy Soap Lady Talks End Of The Year

Didja miss me Gossipers? Who am I kidding, of course you did. I would have done a column the last few weeks but I had to deal with the She Who Must Not Be Named situation. What happened was I was trying to relieve myself, and You Know Who happened to be In The Stall that I ran into, and suddenly I'm entering her bubble and violating her or something.

If she wanted to be violated she should watch that Real housewives with Camille Plastic or whatever. Is there anything natural on that woman? She looks like Kelsey Letterman or whoever that was on that show with the dog, you know the cute one that never got the top billing he deserved. Anyways she looks like a wax figure come to life, Everytime I get near here, I just want to take a pin and push it into her lip but am afraid that some judge somewhere will say I intentionally caused a flood.

Even though it wouldn't really be my fault, I say we blame Betty White. Everyone says this was the year of betty and their right. She was everywhere, I even think I wiped my booty with her face one day. Not literally of course, but I think she was on toilet paper or something. I can't keep track somehow she made Hannah Montana seem under represented on things.

You know what else was misrepresented in 2010? Justice. Mandy continues to be able to do whatever she wants while I have to watch myself and make sure not to step on her toes or anything. Which for the record I have never done, I never once set foot on her, well not her toes anyways. how was I to know that she was at the beach and her head wasn't a rock in my way. Maybe in 2011 she can put aside her jealousy of my fame and we can be friends once and for all.
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