Dag Nabbit! You won't believe what she who must not be named did this week. I'm going to tell you anyways though, see you know that we (me and you know who) have been not seeing eye to ear lately, because she's jealous of my popularity. So I invited her for a tasty lunch and instead of her a lovely, adorable man in a uniform came to lunch. Well I thought this was nice, she sent me some pre-lunch fun and then we could get down to business. Imagine my embarrassment when I slapped the gentleman on the behind and he told I was assaulting an officer.I thought it was a come on, he thought i was being disrespectful, so now I'm sitting in a jail cell.
Yep she finally got me in front of bars. What's worse is that it is nothing like that movie starring Renee Zell-Jones is like. You know the women here actually got a tad violent when I started singing that Cell That jazz song that they sing when blondie first goes to jail. i couldn't believe that they were not willing to sing with me and make jail a bit more festive.
Then I got to thinking that maybe they had never seen "Detroit" (editors note: Its called Chicago Crazy) and maybe I should try enticing them with another of my favorite musicals Wicked. How was I suppose to know that "Defying Gravity" would be construed as a jail break song. The guards were not happy with me, and I tried explaining to them that I was just trying to spread some happiness. The guards disciplined each of the attempted escapees, and my fellow in-people called me words that rhymed with duckin witch. You can figure out what they were calling me.
Pray for me, I am hoping to be out of here soon and be back to my everyday life soon. if not maybe I can write a musical based on my trials.