Crazy Soap Lady Talks Award Show Season

Has anyone else noticed the absence of Mandy? I have, so I went over to her house to make sure she was alright. Last time I did this she accused me of stalking, the horror!! This time though I figured that she and I could set aside our differences. Nope there was a cop waiting there for me, as if she knew I'd be back to talk to her. So I got dragged down to the station, was finger printed and my mug shot taken. Of course the lady taking my mug shot was a lesbian and told me how beautiful I was, and that if there was an award for cutest mug shot I would win.  

That got me to thinking about awards and award show season. Yep my favorite time of year, you get to see all those cute guys all dressed up in tuxes and all the women in dresses. I remember one year at the Academy Awards that terrific screecher, what's her name Jerk? Anyways she wore a swan to the ceremony. How great was that? Got me inspired and I tried to wear a pigeon dress but was told that it was ugly. Well excuse me for not having access to a recording studio to screech an album.

The other thing that Awards Season makes me think about is all the actors/actress' who will be nominated. Hillary Skank has a movie out so that guarantees her an Oscar nomination. Seriously if that girl just breaths in a movie she is handed a bucket of awards. Come along since Melrose 9021- Bell haven't we Hillary? James Franco is also said to be one of the front runners for an Oscar nomination. In his new movie he cuts off his leg, in order to survive being trapped on a mountain. I want an Oscar so I'll wear my pigeon dress and cut off a breast, will that win me an Oscar? Hey I'll even take a strawberry, I just want an award.

I have to go now. The judge is looking at me with a strange look, maybe I should introduce her to the lesbian who hit on me earlier.