Gossipers I really need your help to become a superstar on this site. Royal is always threatening to shut me down or take my column away. I did one about the pope that he deemed too dirty. Yet he lets Mandy talk about her hair. It's not fair, how can she talk about her hair and I can't talk about how hot the pope is. I mean sure he's 70 or 80 and he's about 30 or 40 years younger than me but why does that matter? And about that Mandy do you know that I seen her at the grocery store and she wouldn't let me hide out in her house. I was appalled. Well I had a Paul but right now thats not what I'm talking about.
Or is it? Long before Angelina stole Brad from Jennifer, before Elizabeth got Eddie out from under Debbie, there was me. Yes thats right gossipers I admit I stole a man before. Well stole may not be the right word, he came onto me and said that he and his wife had an arrangement and well he had muscles that would make Taylor Lautner blush. So of course I began an affair with him, and we carried on until his wife found out and threw a fit saying something about monogamy.
See I identify with so called "bad girls" Angelina Jolie is exotically beautiful and I can see why Brad couldn't keep it in his pants. Hell if I were within 10,000 feet of her I wouldn't be able to keep it in my pants either. I'd dress up as her brother if it meant I could get some tongue action out of her. Jen really didn't stand a chance after Brad agreed to star in Mr. And Mrs. Benjamin Salt with Angie. I mean come on what did you expect to happen Jen, when your husband signed up for a movie with a sex Goddess? Jen you're pretty and all but you are no Angelina, so just stick to your John Vaughns.
Elizabeth Taylor also got a bad rap for a while. I mean sure she stole Eddie Fisher from Americas then sweetheart. But I mean think about this from Eddie's point of view, here was the most beautiful woman in the world throwing herself at him, what was he going to do say no? I hardly think so I wouldn't expect any man of mine to say no?
A triangle that really intrigues me, is the one at the center of Twilight. The sexual tension is almost unbearable, it melts my screen every time I pop in the movies to watch them.Of course I am talking about Edward And Jacob. Sure, sure they out a lesbian in the middle of the gay men fighting over each other which makes absolutely no sense at all. I mean was there a quotient for bad actress, who recite lines robotically that had to be filled? Anyways so technically I guess their fighting over lesbella but in reality they want each other. I see it everytime they appear on screen together. Edwards portrayer even said he made the other ones nipples hard. If thats not love then I have no idea what is. I hope Jedward have a long and happy life after the studio finally let's them show the love they feel for one another and get that bitch out of the way.
Remember Team Jedward Always!!!!!
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