Blind: Who Is Toothy Tile?

Ted C

Last Monday, I was blabbing on about how Toothy Tile's b-f dumped him because the poor boy just got so damn sick and tired with Tooth-babe always wanting to do it in public, never in their damn bed. Now, Toothy (who, let me say, yet again, is not Keanu Reeves or even Tom Cruise), the famous actor who's apparently thisclose to coming out, is, I'm afraid to report, back to being thisclose to abso-friggin'-lutely never coming outta the closet.

See, not only does T.T. so adore his fairly new, huge-butt fame (and doesn't want to see it dissipate), he likes his nooky on the dirty side: naughty and devilish, hence, Tooth's preference for getting it on, dangerously, where he might get caught. La Boyfriend got fed with this predictable kinkiness and bolted, as I reported. But when I did pass this public poop along, I asked you, La Reader, where was the weirdest place you copulated, and if you were so inclined to go for a repeat performance.

You know, sorta like how Kirsten Dunst reportedly revealed (but later denied by the star's chastising rep) to London's News of the World, when she was surmising why she and that hunky stud-puff, Jake Gyllenhaal, couldn't last:

"We tried to spice things up--we had sex in the bathroom and even by the sea."

Well, Ms. D., all I have to say is you have plenty of company, both celeb and otherwise. I mean, the response from Awful-ites to my query was overwhelming, as big as my hair used to be! Feedback was enormous, real Jeff Probst-size stuff, to be sure. That scintillatingly said, I now give you--interspersed with daring do-me confessions from the more celebrated--what all you game gals 'n' guys like to do with the lights not only on--but on you!