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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Blind: How Long Before He's Outed?

Ted C

Everyone was apparently so into Crescent Kumquat's homo-lution in last Friday's Blind Vice that we've decided to share more deets with you from that fateful night of online lust.
One thing that everyone forgets is how these closeted stars affect those they get up close and personal with in secret.
Crescent, we know you're new at this (or supposedly a virgin never having "gone all the way" with a guy), so let us introduce you to rule No. 1: Don't leave your nookie partner burned after you use him for anonymous sex...
When talking to our source, who was lucky enough to fool around with studalicious Kumquat, we felt totally bad for the dude, who was not expecting to get ditched postcoital.
Says Crescent's conquest:
"I am a bit sour of the fact he fake-numbered me and disappeared off the site. Call me naïve, but before he came over, the chat we shared was actually good."
Apparently Kumquat's talk and action vary just a smidge.
As we told you Friday, Crescent totally liked it rough (hair pulling, dirty talk and being very loud "while getting pleased"), but from what we hear leading up to the inevitable hookup, C.K. was more the mushy and lovey-dovey type.
How, exactly, do we mean?
Well, lots of hand-holding (pre-, during and postsexing), Robert Pattinson-type mooning and total eye contact with the fellow studmuffin he was hooking up with. Kumquat even supposedly tucked in his conquest and kissed the guy goodbye—only to never be heard from again.
Remember, Cres' profile was deleted and the number he gave was a fake, which doesn't shock us but totally did the guy.
As the unsuspecting fella puts it:
"We talked about our hobbies and interests. I had told him that I was new to the area and he had made some remarks about showing me around town one night. He really sounded like a guy that I could be cool with."
Is this sad or what?
Crescent, you must be careful with how you treat your special friends. Especially considering the fact you don't even make them sign confidentiality agreements (though we assume now that you're speeding up your gay tendencies at a rapid pace these agreements may not be far behind).
Be glad your onetime cyberbuddy doesn't wanna sell you down the river here. With your audience, In Touch would be jumping at the chance to run this tell-all exclusive.
Just sayin', babe, you won't get away with this kinda behavior for too much longer. Your good hair and charming smile only get you (and anonymity) so far!

And it ain't: Matt Lanter, Michael C. Hall, Matthew Bomer

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