Wednesday, September 24, 2014

GH Speculation: Will Robin Die?

The wise and gracious Carolyn Hinsey once said that soap fans "should be careful what they wish for.." This was in regards to Crystal Hunt's very poorly received turn on One Life To Live. However it certainly applies to any of the soaps today as well, especially when something that starts out negative begins to make the inroads that the writers/producers want. Right now General Hospital fans are up in arms about how Kimberly McCullough (Robin) keeps coming and going from Port Charles. Now the rumors suggest that GH may take a drastic step to appease fans: The question is will Robin have to die?

If ever there was a character that had the odds stacked against her it is Robin Scorpio Drake. She is HIV positive, which alone could make a great story not only for McCullough but for her co-stars. The writers could have Robin fall ill, which would ultimately lead to her death. That story alone would effect just about everyone on canvas, and could probably bring back a few missing players. Finola Hughes would rock a true Robin dying story, as she does everything else that she does. Tristan Rogers could probably be coaxed back for a few episodes to grieve his TV daughter. Jason Thompson would once again prove why he should be the new leading man of GH.


So the story as I imagine would go something like this. Robin gets sick, and it continues to worsen. Her family and friends gather around her bedside, as her Doctor, tells them that Robin won't make it. Of course the Doc would be the Britch, which would make everyone demand a second opinion. By the time someone else gets to her Robin will have died. Anna will pull away from everyone as she realizes that she was absent form her daughters life. Maxie (Kristen Storms) will once again spiral out of control, falling off the wagon and right back into a puddle of vodka. Elizabeth (Rebecca Herbst) will try to be the rock for everyone but slowly find herself losing it, seeing Robin everywhere. Perhaps we can even get a Casey The Alien cameo.


Another way that they can kill Robin is via one of her campy adventures, that brings her in and out of town. Some of the suspense of Robin being threatened has been let out, since we know that she won't die. However what if the show gave the fans what they claim they want and did a surprise Friday cliffhanger, where Robin does die. No fake out, an honest to goodness death. Since the show is into throwbacks right now, maybe the Cassadines are on the hunt for the Ice Princess and are trying to use Robin to lure Luke out of hiding. It works and as Stavros and Luke fight over a gun, it goes off. They cut to Robin making a wounded face, clutching her stomach. On Monday, we learn that they have killed her off forever.

Do you think GH should kill Robin?

Zac Efron Won't Be Stripping In Magic Mike 2

Ladies and gays, it's almost time for us to get our viewing parties together again because that secret wish we all had when Channing Tatum appeared on screen completely naked in the first Magic Mike is coming true. No, not that he was our husband, that we would get a sequel to the male stripper movie sillies. Here's what we know about the movie so far, men are taking off their clothes. So far those men include: Matt Bomer (yay!), Alexandr Pettyfer (show us full fromtal), and of course course Channing Tatum (why wear clothes at all?). Alas Matthew McConaughey won't be taking off his clothes. Unfortunately neither will a fellow hunk, who happens to want to be shirtless all the time. That's right Zac Efron won't be stripping in the sequel to Magic Mike either.

Don't get me wrong, Zac wanted to be in the movie. He thought that he was going to be in the movie. He auditioned for the movie at the MTV Movie Awards. Hell he even showed his butt in That Awkward Moment to get people excited about him taking off his clothes. OK let's be real here we were all already excited for him to take off his clothes. Blind Gossip alleges that Zac "actively soliciting the part in public interviews, telling people that he was sure he was going to get the role, and sending emails and text messages and videos and photos of himself..."To Channing. If you have pictures or videos of Zac Efron stripping or naked then you owe it to humanity to share them. 

Channing just isn't comfortable letting Zac be in the movie. See after all of the trouble and bad stuff that he's done, Zac is now considered a bad risk. With the Magic Mike franchise taking off (pun intended), Channing doesn't want to see his money well dry up because of someone else. BG claims that Channing "...simply didn’t want to risk having his successful franchise derailed by an addict who can not seem to control his partying and attention-seeking behavior." Still though you could audition Zac stripping and baring his booty, then release it as a DVD extra. Or hell go the Farrah Abraham route and make it a sex tape. Just an idea to expand the Magic Mike universe for all the gays and gals. 

Are you upset that Zac Efron Won't Be Stripping In Magic Mike XXL?

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Is Britney Spears Charlotte From Sex And The City

Are there two things that gay men love more? I mean a post about our "Queen of Pop" and a classic sitcom that people still talk about to this day. Maybe penises but I already did one yesterday that has people vomiting so unless Zac Efron takes off his clothes, I think I'll wait a bit before I do another. Instead I will focus on the question in the headline, Is Britney Spears the real life version of Charlotte from Sex and the City?

Many are going to cry no way, Jose. First I want to say that this is Royal Eduardo writing and not Jose. Secondly I think that she might be, and it doesn't change the fact that I love her at all. She broke up with that cheating douchebag, David Lucado because he was caught on camera messing around with a porn star. If you're going to cheat on one of the most famous women in the world, you might want to make sure that nobody is recording you. Anyways so about 2 seconds after she broke up with him, she went on The Tonight Show and Jimmy Fallon joked about setting up a Tinder account for her. Maybe that shouldn't have been a joke though because apparently she is reaching out to her exes for love and comfort. One ex, John Sunduhl, told The National Enquirer that Britney reached out to him " Ten minutes after I saw that she broke up, she called me and said, ‘Hey, I just want you to know that we split up because he was with some porn star.’ I was like, ‘Okay, sorry to hear that.’” What kind of dick move is it to kick a girl when she's down? There was no reason on God's green Earth for him to run to the tabloids and tell them that Brit called him. I guess I answered my own question with one word, Green. Money. 

So where does the comparison to Charlotte come in? Well remember when Charlotte was desperate to marry in season 3? This is what Britney is  doing right now. She wants to find love, companionship, and a way to get her daddy to stop controlling her life. The problem is that she is going about it all wrong. Life lesson #1 for our girl needs to be that an ex is an ex for a reason. You can go back to the well for sex but not for love. And only if the sex is truly amazing and not just because you need to get some. 

Joan Rivers Biography Coming Soon

Even though I want to work in the world of publishing, I highly doubt that I will ever understand it. There are so many contradictions and weird rules that need explaining. Like this: You have a best selling author, very famous, who likes to write about her own life, but you commission a biography about her after she has died. What the what? In any case, Little, Brown & Co have announced that a Joan Rivers biography is coming soon.

After I finish my second run through of the Harry Potter series, and yes for those that have read it once I do think that you should read it again, I am going to start reading Joan's memoir Diary of a Mad Diva. You know the book that just came out about her life? Yea that one. But you know what they say, no market is old until it's over-saturated. So the publishing company decided that it was fine to commission a book about Joan's life, because well what's wrong with making a fast dollar. In a statement they said "...Rivers’ career was also enormously significant in American cultural history, breaking down barriers for women in television and comedy and continually redefining the acceptable boundaries of truth-telling for women in public life. It’s hard to imagine a more compelling subject for a book — or one that would be more fun.” They are certainly right about that, the more I read about the legend the more enamored I become. I just hope that the author, Leslie Bennets, does a good job capturing the spirit of Joan. 

Topics that I hope are covered, with the same humor that Joan brought to everything in her life inclide: the suicide of Edgar Rosenberg, and definitely the rift that caused her and daughter Melissa not to talk for a couple of years. Yes there are other things that the book needs to go over and 81 years is a lot but those are two very compelling stories and I want to see what this author does with them. Apparently she is very fancy and has written for several publications including Vanity Fair. I too am fancy I write for a little read but widely loved Gossip blog and my fiction stories usually, sometimes get praised. 

Another fancy site, Deadline, was the first with this story. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Rush Limbaugh Being Rush Limbaugh

First and foremost I must apologize to my friend, she knows who she is. My friend is a big fan of Rush Limbaugh and I am about to go hard at him, so I hope that in the spirit of our friendship she can forgive me and we can agree to disagree. Full disclosure: I have not yet talked to her about this post nor about the comments that Limbaugh has made. These comments are just Rush Limbaugh being who he is, what he does best, being Rush Limbaugh.

So Cee-Lo Green came under scrunity last week when he tweeted, then deleted a series of tweets basically saying that the woman who accused him of rape never said no because she was unconscious. I am not making that up, go ahead and click here for the link if you don't believe me. Back? Great! Now that you know I'm not crazy let's move on to Ohio State. They created a new Sexual Assault code, which says that consent must be given for any sexual act to commence. Now some people are taking this literally like the guy has to ask the girl to kiss and what not. I'm not sure that it goes that far but I'm no legal scholar...yet.

Limbaugh finds fault with this. He thinks that a no can mean a yes, if the guy is clever enough. He asks his listeners: “How many guys, in your own experience with women, have learned that no means yes if you know how to spot it?.. Are these not lawsuits waiting to happen?” Before I go into my diatribe,I do want to say that I'm not fully convinced that Limbaugh was endorsing rape. I think  that he may have been trying to say that guys have been able to change a woman's mind before without force, by being romantic and seductive. That's the sugar, now here's the medicine. It is very irresponsible for any person, famous or not, to insinuate that a woman (or man) can be sweet talked into sex. If a partner says no, then it should be left alone. There should be no force, there should be nothing more than an OK. Maybe a disappointed face. 

The art of seduction/romance will not be lost with this. Limbaugh says otherwise, “Seduction used to be an art. Now, of course, it’s ‘brutish’ and it’s ‘predatory,'” This is not true. I have seduced and been seduced by men, if I said no they moved on to the next one. If seduction is an art, then sometimes you have to learn to be patient. Everytime I write a story, it doesn't win a contest and I have to be OK with that. When I do, then I know I've done something right. It is ok to be told no, your ego might be hurt but you will bounce back. Also your partner saying no isn't or shouldn'tbe a reflection of your attractiveness or a blow to your self esteem.

Click here to listen to Rush Limbaugh talk about this. 

GH Speculation: Franco Isn't Franco

Last time I did this, it resulted in a lot of views and a lot of controversy. So I thought to myself why in the world would I put myself through that again. The answer is because I love soaps, and I love speculating about what could happen on the shows with my fellow fans, even if they do give me a hard time. So I read a spumor that Ron Carlivati is persuing James Franco to come back to General Hospital and reprise his role as Franco, which would mean that the Franco we see on our screen every day isn't really Franco at all.

Remember when Prospect Park launched the online incarnation of All My Children and One Life To Live, effectively taking Star and Todd Manning, as well as John McBain, from General Hospital? And do you remember how the three portrayers all had contracts with GH? Yes of course we all remember that, there's a lawsuit that reminds of that daily. Anyways GH writers had to come up with different characters for their stars to play because PP wasn't letting them have the original OLTL characters. Now that PP has dissolved their distribution system for the soaps, the rights will invariably revert back to ABC/Disney.

That's the foundation of my argument . Here's my hypothesis: Franco (in the form of James Franco) has been kidnapped and hidden somewhere, maybe in NYC, a real life reference to James' gig on Broadway and the location of PP. Anyways the real Franco has escaped and heard about what Faux Franco (Roger Howarth) has been up to. He is not pleased with this and decides that now is the time for vengeance. He shows up ready to fight, but Faux Franco wants to keep his secret and they fight. Enter Billy Miller's Jason who stops the tussle and is shocked to find that Original Franco is very much alive.

As he starts to dig into who the impostor could be, Jason discovers that a serial killer was loose in Llanview and Todd Manning was wanted for the crime. He turns to wife and private detective Sam to help him prove that Faux Franco is really Todd Manning, not a hard job since they have a striking resemblance. This arc would allow the show to test whether Billy Miller and Kelly Monaco have the same chemistry as she had with Steve Burton.

Real Franco comes face to face with Ava (Maura West) and tells her he knows what she did. She says she doesn't know what he is talking about, but we learn that Kiki (Kristen Alderson) is really Silas' (Michael Easton) daughter with Nina (Michelle Stafford). Just as Ava is about to reunite with Morgan, Franco blabs the secret all over town. Nina decides that the time for revenge has come and heads over to confront her enemy. A gun is drawn, a shot fired. It is revealed that Morgan was the one shot. Kiki decides to leave town because she has been through so many parents in the short amount of time that she has been in Port Charles, she is not missed. Starr Manning returns and finds out that Michael had been with a look alike of her and is furious. She commemorates with Morgan, and a new love is born.

Carly (Laura Wright) is thrown when she hears about Faux Franco. How could she have chosen the wrong man yet again? She leans on Sonny (Maurice Bernard) who is withholding a huge secret from his soulmate. He had noticed how much Todd and Carly cared for one another, so he helped create the scenario that Franco had a brain tumor and underwent plastic surgery, so that the duo could be together. Everything was going perfectly until Todd realized that he didn't have access to his money anymore and needed to pay rent. Then it was revealed that "Franco" had lost his talent for art.


So yes I know that there is a lot of double identity going on here but this is the sort of campy tale that is GH's trademark. Also I want it noted that we get rid of the boring Kiki and Morgan (Brian Craig) will finally get to best Michael at something. Alright go ahead and start bashing me....

Justin Bieber Got Naked And Wants You To See It

Everyone but tween girls just ran away to wash their eyes out with acidic soap. The tweens think that he just stripped off his shirt again or maybe got down to his boxers like he did on CBS' Fashion Rocks. That's not the case though, no, he pulled his shorts all the way down and took a picture of his erect penis. Yes I said penis, as much as we all thought Justin was a girl, apparently he's not or he found a really realistic strap on somewhere. The sad truth is that Justin Bieber got naked and according to Blind Gossip, he wants you to see it.

The reason for him showing off his strap on skills, er manhood, is simple. He only wanted people to say nice things about him or he wanted people to talk about him period. Blind Gossip writes that Justin "…needed to pull a new trick out of his hat to get some attention… so he pulled out his peen." Right now there is no confirmation that the pic is real but anyone who looks at it will know that not only is it Justin but it is also real. 

So what does his girlfriend Selena Gomez think about this? I'm glad you asked, she doesn't like it but won't say anything about it. BG writes: "she has little control over him, his drug and alcohol intake, his outrageous spending habits, and his constant need to pull stunts like this for attention and publicity." Like I said he pulled out the weapon left in his arsenal to get attention and to stop the lesbian rumors: His penis. Now will this get him attention, def. Gay porn producers will fall all over themselves to get him to star in a video for them ala Simon Rex or Farrah Abraham.

If you want to see Justin Bieber's Penis Click Here (Very NSFW)

Ryan Gosling Is A Daddy

Calm down gays, he isn't looking for a younger guy to take care of. His 'girlfriend' Eva Mendes gave birth to a baby sometime recently. A rep for the couple confirmed the news but had nothing more to add to it. Not even a 'please respect their privacy' statement. So for now all of the headlines will read something like "Ryan Gosling is a daddy!"

Speculation was rampant for months about whether or not the couple was going to have a child. Finally after what seemed like an exhaustive rumor mill churning, Eva confirmed that she was going to bear the second coming of Gosling, and also that she was with child. *Rim Shot* We men lovers all mourned our chance to get pregnant by the hottie, because you know once a man has a child with a woman they never break up. EVER. Right Robin Thicke?

So now we all are left to wonder who can be our new hot guy that we all lust after. I'm thinking that we should turn our attention to Zac Efron because well he's Zac Efron, and unlike Ryan Gosling he shows no signs of having a baby anytime soon.

How do you feel about Ryan Gosling being a daddy?

Monday, September 15, 2014

Music For Monday

So we have throwback Thursday, Sexy Sunday, so I thought why not also have Music Monday! Today we start with one of my very favorite songs from Madonna. It's from her Ray Of Light album, and I have written a poem based on it.  No I will not be sharing the poem, this isn't a coffee shop or a lesbian bar. Pull up a chair, enjoy the video, and let's start a Music Monday revolution.

Picture Of The Day: Nick Carter Naked In The Morning

Kris Jenner Racist Rant

As the backlash against the first family of trash continues, word is coming out that there are several explosive revelations coming out. When Paula Deen admitted under oath that she had used the offensive *N* word, she lost her entire empire and has only recently started to climb back into the good graces of the public. What will happen to Kris Jenner when the world hears her racist rant?

Hollywood Street King has been compiling the evidence for months and has finally released the tapes that could torpedo the Kardashian Matriarch. For all of those people who think that Kris Jenner isn't racist, just listen to the recording below, that is unmistakably her voice. Like Lindsay Lohan, Kris even goes after Queen O, “Oprah is the n*gger of the n*gger-ish. She’s a Black woman making money in a white woman’s world.” What the hell is wrong with these people? Do they not know who Oprah is and what she is capable of? Even Kathy Griffin knows when to back down from a fight. 

It'll be interesting to see how Kris Jenner tries to wiggle her way out of this one. My guess is that she is going to have her paid minions over at Radar Online try to discredit the research that has gone into this. If you click on Hollywood Street King, you will see that they have put a lot of time and effort into this investigation. This is not some fly by night gossip, this is a real news story that is only just starting to break. 

Lindsay Lohan Blames Oprah For The Paparazzi Following Her

What would you do if you had only a few, if any friends left? I would hold those still on my side close to me, complimenting them. I would not lay the blame for my wrong doings or my failures at their feet, especially if one of those people was Oprah!! Anyways Lindsay Lohan isn't me (or most of you!) and she has spent her weekend burning bridges.

While James Deen was talking about how nice her boobs are, Lindsay was out there telling stories. Not just any stories though, cracked out excuse stories about how it's Oprah's fault that the paparazzi found her in New York. Yes you read that right, and no I have not started drinking yet, Lindsay Lohan blames Oprah for the paparazzi following her around! In her own words, Lindsay says: “After the Oprah show it was kind of hard for me to be in New York,” OK so bitch be crazy for laying the blame at Oprah's feet. That's like me saying I was a slut because Neil Patrick Harris didn't love me in High School, it may be the truth but there is very little connection between the two. 

Still even after years and years in the industry, being a tabloid/paparazzi target for many of them Lindsay says it was unexpected and a burden. This should be filed under Bitch, please or as the kids say nowadays 'I just literally can't even.' Here's more of Lindsay's statement:  “There started to be paparazzi, and I didn’t have that in New York in the beginning…Every time I left my house, they were at the corner.” Really I am 3,000% over this crazy. 

Anderson Cooper Brings The Art

What is it about Anderson Cooper that you people find so sexy? There is nothing about him that I find appealing but his money, and well ok I can live with loving his money. Anyways this isn' t a bash Anderson Cooper post, instead it's to talk about an amazing artist that appeared on his now defunct talk show. Sharon Osbourne, as well as a few other people to help him judge this segment called 'Anderson's Viewers Have Talent', In it Anderson Cooper (well his fans) brings the art.

So here's the thing, in this clip an artist called D. Westry starts painting and says he can paint an entire picture in a minute and a half, While he is painting you hear Sharon, Anderson, and co making snide comments about how bad the painting is. Maybe if I made as much as they do to sit and talk all day, I would have the same attitude. However as a struggling artist myself, I found them to be quite rude and irritating.I guess it's their right to be that way though.

Watch the video all the way to the end. One last second adjustment will change the way you think about the picture. Anderson and Co certainly did their fair share of backpedaling, and yes apologizing. Really watch the video all the way to the end, it is worth it.

Thanks to MMC for posting this on Facebook

James Deen Talks Lindsay Lohan's Breasts

Does anyone else realize how big of a draw James Deen is? Over at Generation Hunk, the three posts of him are the ones that constantly top my week/month/All Time stats. He far out draws Chaning Tatum, Jake Gyllenhall, or any of the usual suspects that gets views here. It's really odd. Maybe the same magic will happen here, especially since James Deen has decided to talk about Lindsay Lohan's boobies.

Alright before any of the James fans start getting up in arms, I will attest that the interviewer asked him about Lindsay's globes and he isn't just running his mouth about them. He was very complimentary about them though, and he doesn't have to be, he has sex with women for money as a career. That means he has touched a great deal of many breasts and he still thinks hers is the bees knees. When the interviewer asked him about her boobs, James responded: "Oh yeah, they’re pretty awesome. You should go see The Canyons and see them for yourself." Now the thing is he doesn't have to say these things or promote that movie anymore, so you know that he really thinks it. 

There is a very real part of me that wonders if James and Lindsay had sex off camera, and if they did, will it end up in her sex tell all? Can you imagine JK Rowling writing about the porn star doing the cracked out star? That's more in Jackie Collins' wheelhouse. Speaking of which can you imagine what she could do with that story....

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Who Tried To Steal Joan Rivers' Job?

It's almost like a plotline from a soap opera. Beloved character lies in a coma, while a scheming vixen tries to steal something that the beloved character loves. Now just replace soap opera with real life, beloved character with Joan Rivers, the thing she loved with job as host of Fashion Police, and scheming vixen with a big ol' question mark. Right now we know that while Joan was in a coma, some female comedian  went to the brass at E! trying to get Joan's job. The question that we are left with is Who Tried To Steal Joan Rivers' Job?

Kathy Griffin is the most likely suspect. She's brass enough, and like Joan wants to keep working no matter what. She has said on her former 'reality' show "My Life On The D-List" that she would take any job no matter what. It would make sense that she would follow this up with a move straight out of the Diva's handbook of bad etiquette. However both E! and her manager have denied that this is the case. Her manager said: “It’s just not true. It wasn’t Kathy. I know because it would have had to go through me.” While an E! spokesperson confirmed that statement by denouncing the rumor as untrue, “This is absolutely not true.” I sure hope that it's not true as Joan and Kathy were supposed to be very good friends. 

When will this blind item be solved? Perhaps when and if E! announces the new host of Fashion Police. There is no way that anyone would be caustic enough to admit that they were trying to get the job while Joan was still alive, albeit in a coma. Though if someone along the lines of a gossip columnist were to get their hands on this information and publish it, well then there would be no choice but to confess or lie right?

Friday, September 12, 2014

The Truth Doesn't Matter To Iggy Azalea

Once again we are in the midst of a naked celebrity scandal, only this time said star is the one who comes out looking bad. In the case of Jennifer Lawrence and co who had their pictures stolen and distributed, they admitted that yes it was them in the picture but it was meant for a (former in some cases)loved one. Iggy Azalea could use a little advice when it comes to that, an ex is trying to sell a sex tape of them together and she is at a loss for a defense. First she claimed that it wasn't her in the tape, then she tried to say that she wasn't of age when the video was made, now the story is that she never consented to making the tape. What all this says to the public, her fans, is that the truth doesn't matter to Iggy Azalea.

Maybe that's harsh but it's also true. Keeping with the JLaw example, she could have claimed that the pics weren't of her, and we would have believed her. Instead she said 'Yep that's me.' We sided with her and now the FBI is investigating. If Iggy had done this, more people would be sympathetic to her and the backlash against Vivid would have been enough to get them to walk away from the deal. Now however she has raised curiousity and will help the porn giant make a ton of money once that video is released. In this case the truth or at the very least a quiet mouth would have kept her out of trouble and helped her.

Of course there is the theory rolling around the internet that Iggy is hoping for a Kim Kardashian type of payment for this video. If this is the case then my whole argument is moot and I hope she enjoys her porn money because her singing career will likely be over. That would be a shame because unlike Kim K, Iggy is very talented and has a bright future ahead of her. Yes there would have been backlash, as there is with almost every artist, but she would have come through it with dignity and grace. 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Giada De Laurentiis Becoming a Real Housewife?

I am still in shock over Eileen Davidson joining the cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The woman doesn't need the money, she had two soaps that desperately want her on their canvases. We can sort out her logic later (my theory is she's writing a new book and this is research, paid research). Right now there is another high profile celebrity that is eyeing a possible spot in the reality franchise, albeit on the East Coast. There are many rumors flying right now that Giada De Larentis is angling to become a cast member of Real Housewives of New York City!


Yep, little miss I want to get divorced in private, wants to be on a show that will air all of her dirty laundry in public. The move is a tad surprising given that she already has her own show on the Food Network, but then maybe she wants to be known for something besides being a talented Chef. I mean if you read the gossip blogs, then you definitely know that she has at least one other talent. Blind Gossip writes: " …is currently negotiating to join the cast of an East-coast reality television series. This would be a bizarre career move as she does not need a flagging reality franchise to become a celebrity. She is already a celebrity, she already has a television series, and she already has a ton of money!" Sometimes a lady just wants all of her personal business out there, in an effort to destroy an empire that was created for her. 


Of course Giada's favorite past time of adultery came into play as well. In fact people are wondering why in the world she would chance exposure of that aspect of her life. Once again we turn to BG, "Why on earth would someone who is trying to HIDE the fact that her marriage is a mess – and HIDE the fact that she has a very hearty appetite for extra-curricular activities – purposefully subject her personal life to constant scrutiny and swirling rumors?" Maybe she's tired of hiding everything and wants it all out in the open. Of course being on the Real Housewives would also ensure that she has a steady paycheck coming in when the divorce hits and she starts losing endorsements. Maybe Giada is more clever than we give her credit for.

Joan Rivers Knew She Was Dying

There are two things that are inevitable in life, death and taxes. From the time we are very young, it is ingrained in us that one day we will leave the Earth and our souls will journey elsewhere. Some people die when they are very young and some die when they are very old. Joan Rivers had a good long run, and in the end she knew that death was near her.

Maybe she didn't think to herself that it would happen as suddenly as it did. However she was trying to prepare her daughter, Melissa, for the inevitable. In one of her last interviews, she told The Sydney Morning Herald: “Melissa says, ‘I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to talk about it’, but I say it’s comi-i-i-ing! It’s inevitable. It’s no longer an abstract thing. It’s like, God, I’m in my eighties. Nobody, when I die, is going to say, ‘How young?’ They’re going to say, ‘She had a great ride.'” It's almost as if she were predicting her own death, which is something I am learning that a lot of people do when they feel the time is near. 

Also as Joan promised in one of her books, her entire fortune went to Melissa. There were provisions for her beloved grandson and her four furry friends. All in all it is being reported by many outlets that at the time of her death, Joan was worth more than $150 million. 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Soap Sense: The Supercouple Is Alive

Romance is dead. Friends keep telling me this as I am writing a new romance trilogy, and I keep assuring them that romance is not dead, it is alive and thriving, it's just writers are ignoring it. Luke Kerr over at Daytime Confidential, who I respect tremendously, wrote an Op-Ed piece about how the soap opera super couple is dying and/or dead. Hog wash I say, The Super Couple is very much alive, they just need some love and nurturing.

First and foremost the days of the 80's and early 90's are gone. They are done. They are as out as the fashions that we all thought would last forever in those decades. What this means is that soaps that had massive budgets back then and could afford to pay the high price of some of the 'A' list soap stars can barely afford to pay the SAG minimum now. That last part is a bit of an exaggeration but not by much. For every Susan Lucci or Eric Braden a show can hire 10 newbies. However the end result is less success and more blunders, which hampers the ability to build sustainable couples.

Luke points out in his article (click Daytime Confidential above) that all four shows have potential super couples but none of the are that great. One of the things that people tend to forget is that the internet wasn't around back when GH introduced Luke and Laura, if it had been the backlash would have been so great that they would have broken them up. For those not in the know, in the late 70's Luke raped Laura and then fell in love with her. The same thing happened with EJ and Sami over on Days, and fans went crazy over the prospect of this happening. Gradually the fans grew to love the couple but now Alison Sweeney and James Scott are exiting the soap. Days still has Will and Sonny to rely on, they just need a decent story. Luke references GH's Lulu and Dante but I don't think they have what it takes. Patrick and Sam have the hallmarks of a great super couple including exes who are still out there and popular with the fans.

Storylines have been sped up to keep up with our societies changing attention spans. However I think you can tell a nice long story with a few fast paced arcs to keep the audience invested. Imagine if you will that it was Sam who was investigating what happened to Jason, along with Patrick because he wants Robin home with him. They start bonding over things and one thing leads to another and they separately realize they have feelings for one another. Suddenly Sam gets kidnapped and now Patrick must save her. That's the kind of thing that would bring super couples back from the brink. Days could have Will become his mother's son when she leaves town. Maybe she fakes her death and EJ goes to jail. Will angry with his grandma Kate for thinking that Sami deserved to die decides to do a hostile takeover of the business that Kate and Sami formed together. Kate turns to Sonny's dad Justin, which infuriates Will and leads to an argument. Sonny says that Will is in the wrong, makes his husband promise to stop this. Classic soap tale right there.

Recasting roles hurts too. Gina Tognoni is a great actress and has won Emmy's galore. However her Phyllis over on Y&R will have different chemistry with her former leading men than when Michelle Stafford was in the role. The same thing happened when they recast Billy Miller with David Tom and then recast again. There was no way Villy (Victoria and Billy) would remain in tact after that. When Julie Marie Berman left the role of Lulu on GH, they recast her with Emme Rylan. Here's what they did right, they let Lulu fall in love with Dante all over again as the audience fell in love with her.

Romance isn't dead and the audience still wants it. However given the times that we live in, there has to be inventive ways to allow us to fall in love with a couple. The success of telenovellas which involve lots of romance tells me that there are writers out there who know what they are doing, it's just a matter of tapping into the ingenuity. One of the great things about Netflix, and telenovellas is that most of the time the stories/series are done before they air, so that they follow the original vision without fan input. Yes fans are important but sometimes they interfere with something in progress and what could have worked beautifully ends up in the trash. 

Nurse Jackie Cancelled

The Doctor won't be seeing you after this season of Nurse Jackie. That's because Showtime has pulled the plug on the long running dramedy. The first three seasons were great, there has been a nosedive in quality surrounding the newer episodes, something that fans have been all too willing to point out. The picture to the left tells the story of how the world learned that Nurse Jackie had been cancelled.

A statement from the pay cabler read:

“Edie is one of our finest actresses, We are so honored to have had her on the network. She creates indelible characters and Nurse Jackie Peyton is no exception. I know this final season will bring her story to a close that will satisfy the ever-growing number of loyal viewers who have been entranced and, at times, appalled by Jackie through the years.”
For those that don't know, Edie Falco plays Nurse Jackie Peyton, a pill popping adulterer. While this is sad news, it does make me wonder what's next for Edie. Will she take some time off? Will she do more feature films? My hope is that she does another long running show but this time more comedy and less drama.

What do you think of this news Gossipers? 

Britney Spears Is Now On Tinder Thanks To Jimmy Fallon

Who didn't know that Britney had a funny side? If not then I encourage you all to go to her Facebook page and just watch her impressions. Or for that mater watch the show that she helped save, How I Met Your Mother, she's so good that they invited her to be a guest star twice. Last night Brit was the "surprise" guest on The Tonight Show, and people today are in awe of how funny she was. Straight guys are also thanking host Jimmy Fallon for getting Britney Spears on Tinder.

For my gay who might not know, Tinder is the straight equivalent of Grindr. Except instead of saying it's a hook up app, they say it's a dating app. Personally I don't see the difference but you know maybe I'm not supposed to. Anyways the ever gorgeous Britney showed up and did a playful interview with Jimmy when he finally revealed that he was tired of her being single (AFTER TWO WEEKS!!) and had signed her up for Tinder. Britney pretended not to be pleased by this but you know that she wants to wake up to some man other than her daddy cooking her cheesy grits.

After some give and take, Britney and Jimmy did a Pro's and Con's list of dating the superstar. One of the most unintentionally funny lines of the night was from Brit herself, who said that she now has her own underwear line, so anyone can get into her drawers. Wait maybe that wasn't unintentionally funny. Maybe Britney did that on purpose because she is a wickedly smart business lady (no sarcasm I do think Britney is much smarter than people give her credit for). Watch the video below:

Ellen's Epic Anaconda Remake For Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj is going to have the most watched video of the year, bar none. Anaconda as I pointed out in my post Sex Sells for LinkedIn, had already gathered more than 128 million views. I think that Nicki will have to thank Ellen DeGeneres when she also has the number 2 video of the year, the one above. Ellen has remade Nicki's Anaconda video for her, and it is EPIC.

If anyone ever says that they don't want to see a 56 year old woman twerking, they shouldbe slapped in the face and made to listen to Fran Drescher sing 'I Will Always Love You'. No I'm serious that's not even enough punishment for not enjoying watching Ellen pop her booty into the air. Portia's wife brings a levity to the sexy video that will make this an instant classic.

Next up I would love to see what Ellen does with the video for Taylor Swift's Shake It Off. I know it seems like Taylor already put the comedy in there but Ellen can find a way to make it better. I promise you that she can. 

Justin Bieber Booed During Fashion Rocks

It looks like the tween girls have decided that they are through with Justin Bieber. It was bound to happen at some point, and I really thought that it would have happened before now but then my musical icons were wonderful and have never gone out of style, right O-Town? Anyways the Biebs was recently signed to be a Calvin Klein underwear model, which is a bargain for CK seeing as none of Justin's pants fit him and he always shows off his designer diapers, and figured he might as well learn to strip seeing as he'll have to do it in a few years in order to pay the bills. Anyways last night CBS aired a special called Fashion Rocks, and Justin Bieber got booed in it.

I know that first paragraph seems all sorts of odd, let me set the narrative for you. During the Fashion Rocks special, the premise is something like Fashion and music go hand in hand, Justin Bieber was performing. During his performance he deicded that his clothes felt very uncomfortable or something and began taking them off. Now if he had watched Magic Mike like the rest of us,  he would have known that you need to be smoother about taking off your clothes but alas he is insisting that he likes girls or he is above watching movies where men take their clothes off for money. Anyways the crowd was unanimous in booing him. They were relentless and this went on for quite some time. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

Because I am a compassionate person, I feel it is my duty to suggest that Justin watch Magic Mike and take notes. It's not just a good movie, but a good training video for future male strippers. While I am handing out advice I would also like to tell Calvin Klein that he shouldn't waste the money he is paying Bieber, he should give that money to a worthy cause aka Royal Eduardo's bank account. It goes to such worthy causes as me paying rent and buying food. Think about it.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Katy Perry & Taylor Swift Feud: Mean Girls Gonna Be Mean, Mean, Mean

Yes I realize that the headline will eventually be the basis for the Lifetime Original Movie based on this feud, please forgive me in advance. This was not my intention until I started writing this article and I re-read the headline. Now it stays. Leaving it meant that I had to rewrite the entire introduction paragraph but you know whatevs. You didn't come here to read me ranting about having to rewrite things, you came here to read about the Mean Girls esque feud between two alleged adults: Taylor Swift and Katy Perry.

Unless you have been living under a rock the last 24 hours, there has been no escaping talk about Taylor Swift's interview with Rolling Stone magazine. She was quoted as saying:

“For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not,” she says. “She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?'”
Then last year, the other star crossed a line. “She did something so horrible,” Swift says. “I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational – you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”
Many people took this barely blind item right over to the intended subject, Katy Perry. Instead of issuing a no comment, Katy took this Mean Girl stuff to a whole new level and claimed that she wasn't the Regina George  in this situation but rather the sweet looking, innocent Taylor is. Katy tweeted: "Watch Out For The Regina George In Sheep's Clothing..." My lord these two don't really know how to feud. Calling Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton can you teach them?

Actually you know what would be better? If Cher released a single that crushed both of theirs to the ground. Then she could insult Madonna, and we could have a good old fashioned 80's Feud going on. Yes that would be better.

Could A Former Friend Win An Oscar?

Oh if this comes to fruition, the tabloids will have a field day with it. Former Friends star Jennifer Aniston is getting rave reviews for her performance in her new movie Cake. Rave reviews isn't the only thing that she is getting, many say that Jen may be nominated for an Oscar. Apparently she is that good. They say that she is Meryl Streep good. This leads to the question in the headline; Could A Former FRIEND win an Oscar?

Sure Jennifer has her fans, many of them from her sitcom days. She can open a film, like We're The Millers (hilarious BTW) but it always seemed as though she were playing the same character over and over again. The argument is that many actors do this, hem hem (in my best Delores Umbridge voice) Leonardo DiCaprio we're looking at you, and they get nominated for an Oscar just for sneezing in a movie. Not only does Jen have to overcome her TV past, but she has her personal life that gets in the way of people seeing her as a talented actress, many instead choose to see her as a very lucky spinster.

Will the love triangle that the tabloids have created starring her, Angelina Jolie, and Brad Pitt have an effect on a nomination? It certainly shouldn't given that Roman Polanski gets nominated for his movies and he was convicted of molesting a child. Of course there is her break up with Vince Vaughn which hasn't been as significant as the Brad Pitt angle, and her relationship with Justin Theroux. None of which should matter when the time comes to vote for whether or not her performance is worthy of an Academy Award.